Pandemic Musings of Self Discovery



What does self discovery mean to you? For me, it means challenges, darkness, and sometimes pain. That doesn't sound so fun does it?

 

Change is messy. Life is messy. The "self" is messy.

 

Some of you may know this already, but I have been on a path of self discovery for quite a few years now. I may not of said it out loud, but you could probably tell by my blogging patterns or style changes. Maybe you didn't notice at all. That just means, I am so good at hiding it, you had no idea.

 

Either way, this morning I saw that quote up there and realized how much I have changed in the past couple of years and that this pandemic has really helped me see some of that.

 

Sometimes we don't know why we started on the path to self discovery, and sometimes we get those 'ah ha' moments along the way. For me, I realized I was looking for something to heal trauma from an abusive relationship. At the time I lived in a city where I knew barely anyone and because of that, I found a yoga studio who was just starting out who accepted me. 


This studio started me on my journey to heal myself. I took many classes and workshops there for a few years and then decided to become a teacher myself. Going through a yoga teacher training changes you. You work a lot on yourself without even realizing it at first. Some people go through the training for themselves and never intend to go on to be a teacher. I was that person. I never thought I would want to teach.


What most people don't realize about these types of journey's is they can often be dark, challenging, and lonely. Some of these lessons I have learned along the way have been some of the hardest moments of my life.

 

I graduated the program a different person and knew I needed to keep on the path of this journey. I decided I wanted to teach. Help others along the way. Shortly after getting my first teaching job, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I became dis-interested in teaching and stopped all together. No biggie. 

 

Fast forward to 5 months after I had my son.  I quit my job. I declared breastfeeding wasn't for me and quit. My cat disappeared. All in the same week. I was beyond devastated and emotional. It was all a part of my self discovery journey. I didn't see that then, but I can see it now. It brought me back on the path.

 

I started practicing yoga again little by little. It had been a year since I last tried. I became certified in Reiki because I loved working with energy. In this time we started looking to buy a house. We bought the first house we looked at (We did look at 3 total) and moved in a year ago. I feel like I manifested this house. That is a story for another day. I live in a log cabin. A real one. It is all wood and I have never felt so grounded in a space. I realized this past fall that I had the best space for a small home yoga studio.

 

The months leading up to the pandemic I was doing some deep self work with a coach. He helped me realize the yoga space and had me face a lot of truths. I began working on my relationships as well. Looking at my own interactions with those around me. Came to the realization I was not happy in my job. 

 

I started a plan of what I wanted to do next. This was years in the making. I had ideas and dreams and it all seemed to be coming in at the same time. I started teaching small classes in my home. I was offering free/donation classes to moms who needed a break. It was an amazing feeling. It was happening.

 

Enter Covid-19.

 

"You need to go home and work there. We can't work in the building. "You can't teach yoga, you can't even be near people." "This is only going to be a few weeks, you can teach again soon." "People are dying, you can't live out your dream anymore, sorry."

 

Everything came to a screeching halt. Wait what? I can't do this anymore? I was just getting started! NOOOO! Now what?

 

This is how journey's go. You never know what is going to happen next. You are never 100% prepared for the road blocks, but you are prepared to deal with them.

 

This is just the roadmap. You never know what you will come up against on the road. I will be writing more about what I have learned and what I am doing now to keep going with what I am after. My dream.


I will say, even with all of the crazy going on, I am proud of myself for doing the work. I am so happy I get to share it with all of you. This got long pretty quick, so stay tuned for more of what I learned and what I am working on next on my journey.

 

I appreciate you reading.


Namaste.

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My Yoga Space

Everything right now is pretty virtual. We are adapting to what is available to us to keep our businesses and our sanity alive. One thing that has exploded in the past weeks is online fitness classes. Yoga is included in those classes.

Last year we bought a house. Before we really started seriously looking I joked it had to have a space for a yoga studio. My husband always just laughed at me. I think he knew deep down I was serious, but he humored me anyways.

When we got down to it, I forgot about the yoga thing because we needed to find a house. We told our landlords we would not be renewing our lease. We looked a several houses and put in an offer pretty quickly. We got that house. We moved in over the summer of 2019.

One evening in October it hit me. This house has a yoga studio! The house has a finished basement that has exits into our garage. There is an entrance to the outside world. This could work.

The basement before we moved in
Over the past several months I have worked on building it up as a space that works. I was inspired by a paint color called Mosque Blue. I painted one wall. I cleaned out all the clutter and agreed that the space could be a multi-use space. It is my yoga studio and a family room. It has been working out  pretty well.

After we moved in. Not too bad, but cluttered. 
I taught a couple of classes in the space before Coronavirus took us by storm. Now I look at my hard work and wonder what to do now. It is time to join the world and offer virtual online classes. It had always been a plan of mine to do. I have lots of friends and family all over the world who want to take my classes. This situation pushes that plan quicker then I thought, but not out of the question.

The mostly finished space.
Below is the entry way with places to hang coats and the entry way into the room 


I am currently working on streaming classes to my Facebook group: Refresh. If you want to join in please send a request to join. It is a space just for women where we can support one another in wellness, mental health and overall support in this challenging time.

I was struggling to keep up with everything I had planned, but this week I was furloughed from my job so I will have more time. I did take on doing another 200 hour yoga training this week. It is virtual and with the same studio I took my in person 200 teacher training back in 2017. This training is a great refresher and is focusing on some virtual training tips which is great for the current situation.

That being said, I am proud of the space I built and I hope you enjoy the photos and will join me in some classes in the group. Maybe give some inspiration to turn a room into some form of multi-purpose space that works for you and your family.

Have a wonderful day! Namaste.
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Pine Tree Tea and Vitamin C

Vitamin C is a hot topic these days. Many people look to vitamin C to keep them healthy during the cold and flu season. What is your go to source to get your vitamin C?


I used to be a huge Emergen-C drinker many years ago. I stocked it like crazy, and it actually seemed to help me not get sick. One of the first things I asked my husband to get when everyone was panic shopping was a box of it because I left mine at work and didn't know when I would be back to get it. It actually took him a few stores to find it. 

While I was waiting for Emergen-C to be found, I started eating oranges. There was one lone bag left at the grocery store, so I figured I might as well go straight to the source. I found I loved the orange but also forgot that citrus can give me little breakouts around my mouth. Not my favorite thing to deal with.

That's when I remembered another natural source of vitamin C. Pine needles. Did you know that some pine needles have 5X more vitamin c than an orange? It is also full of vitamin A. I use White Pine in my tea, but many pine species are good to use. Do your own research on your pine before doing this as there are a few variations of pine that are poisonous. Pine needles are not recommended for women who are pregnant.



So how do you make this tea? It is SUPER simple. All you need is a handful of needles pulled form the branch and boiling water.  You chop the needles up into smaller chunks and pour the boiling water over them. Let them steep for 20 minutes covered. I place a bowl over my cup to keep the steam in. Using a mason jar with a lid is also useful.

Once your tea is brewed you can drink it as is, or add some raw honey. I drink it both ways depending how I feel, but the honey does seem to enhance the pine flavor, so be aware of that.



I drink at least one cup of this everyday. It makes me feel good. It is a little weird at first, but it is for your health right? Let me know if you try this out and what your thoughts are!

Namaste!

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Books I'm Reading During Quarantine

I have officially made it 2 weeks in my house without going crazy. That should entitle me to a medal right? Just kidding. But seriously, it wasn't as hard as may people told me it would be. I say it that way because I am already an introvert with a full-time job and a toddler. I don't get out much outside of my job. Also this time of year I tend to work from home more often due to my little guy being sick with a cold or something. So far this still feels normal to me.

I do have to admit there are some things that are keeping me sane. I started reading again. I had really started to cut back on reading once Ben was born. Who had time? Now I have a stack of books, both physically and digitally, I have been wanting to read, so might as well start right?


Most of my books have a yoga theme. I kind of went overboard when I realized it could be awhile before I could leave my house. I ordered 4 books and all 4 were yoga related. 2 were actual novels and 2 were non-fiction. Needless to say, if yoga interests you, I got you covered. Here is my stack of books for quarantine so far:
  1. Yoga Bitch - Suzanne Morrison (Currently Reading)
  2. Poser: My Life in Twenty-three Yoga Poses - Claire Dederer
  3. Perfectly Imperfect - Baron Baptiste
  4. Meditations from the Mat - Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  5. The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown (Started reading a few months ago. Never finished)
  6. Dare to Lead - Brene Brown (Started reading over a year ago. Never finished) - Digital copy
  7. American Royals - Katharine McGee (Currently Reading) - Digital copy
So I have 7 books I strive to get through during this time. I started reading 2 of these. One is a library digital copy so I have to read it before they take it away. The other was from my yoga haul. Two books on this list I have wanted to read and even started but never found time. I will finish them after the 2 I am currently reading.

I never did set a reading goal on Goodreads this year because I haven't had much success. Last night I set my goal to 25. I think it is a fair number for the year. We shall see where I end up. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to curl up in my rocking chair and get to that list. 

What are you reading during quarantine?

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The Meaning of September

I woke up this morning and instantly opened Facebook. This is nothing new I do that every morning. What stuck out to me today was a Facebook memory from 2 years ago that seems to fit perfectly with what's going on today. The quote is
"Ships don't sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down."
It reminded me of the journey I started so long ago right here on this blog. I got on here everyday and I worked on something that was personal to me. I let this be my saving grace when the world around me felt like it was crumbling.

The last time I wrote here it was Friday the 13th.. in September of 2019. Funny thing is, I haven't left my house since Friday the 13th.. in March. I was sent home that day because I had a cough. The beginning of the Coronavirus here in NY. When things started to really become a reality that we were in a very scary time.

The only thing I could think of to help in these uncertain times was to help keep people grounded. I started my spiritual journey back in 2016 when I signed up for my 200 hour yoga teacher training. People told me going through that training changes you. It is such a personal journey within, that no matter if you decide to teach or not, you are a better person because of it. You can help guide people to a place that is more calm in a time of chaos.

I fully intended to do that and never thought I would teach. What changed in me is I got pregnant shortly after graduating in 2017. I did teach the poses and I really did love it. I got pregnant and I got tired. I didn't want to teach anymore. I got further and further away from the poses and more involved in the spiritual side of it.

Fast forward to now. A lot of change had happened for me since I took that training. I was very recently married (September 2016) when I started. I got pregnant right after and gave birth to my son 5 weeks early (April 2018). I struggled immensely with breastfeeding, thus having a tough time bonding with my son. I gave up breastfeeding and my job (September 2018). I took on a new job a month after quitting my job, a leadership position that I never thought I would get. I struggled with my weight, balancing work/mom life and being a leader in my community. I applied for a leadership program in my county and was accepted (September 2019).

It was when I got accepted into that leadership program that I realized I was worth it. I began to seek out someone to speak to. I wasn't looking for a therapist per say, but I was looking for someone to unload some of the hard things on and talk through them and see them in a different light. That is when I found my spiritual mentor. In October 2019 I had my first session. I went through 12 weeks of 2 hour sessions each week discussing things in my life that brought me hurt, brought me knowledge and clarity. I deeply looked at relationships, specifically ones that did not bring me joy. I was able to identify why those people were in my life and what they were teaching me.

I learned so much, but most importantly it brought me back to yoga. All of yoga. The poses. The guidance. The ability to talk to people in a time of uncertainty. It inspired me to work on my own studio in my basement. I started teaching again. Both in my own studio and out in the community. I don't believe in coincidence. This all lead me to now.

It all lead me to what is happening in our world today. I finished my program with my spiritual mentor just 1 week before things started to get really bad in New York. I have felt called to help those who need it. I am now offering support and daily offerings in a group I created for women. Join me if you feel called. I feel like I finally found my purpose in life.

I felt like someone needed to hear this today. Namaste friends.


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Friday the 13th, Full Moons, and Blogging, Oh My!

Whew! Where in the world did the spring and summer go?! Seriously guys, it has been a whirlwind of life. If you recall, those of you who are still here, back in April I announced we were in the process of buying a house. Our closing process took waaaay longer than we had anticipated so we got to do the couple of projects, like painting in the middle of July when it was hotter then hell outside.

Let me tell you, I am NOT a fan. Also we had no fans while doing this so I just wanted to melt away forever. Good news, our house is a log cabin. Most walls are wood, so no painting those. A silver lining for sure.

So anyways, hot mess aside, we moved in the hottest time of year and I am just now starting to feel like a normal human being again. The weather is even cooler now. I can see less boxes crowding my living space, and maybe by the time I post this I will have a desk and space set up again for blogging.

But seriously, if you ever want to find yourself, challenge yourself, lose yourself and doubt yourself.. you should buy a house, chase a toddler while trying to unpack and organize, never take a day off from work, and question everything. I'm telling you, it's enough to make you a born again human, or make you a hot mess. Depends on who you ask.

Also you should make sure you stop from time to time to remember the good things that happened in those long challenging times.

So what has happened since my last post?

Ben turned 1 (I can't believe it either).
I was scouted to be on a local board of directors for a fabulous organization.
I've grown in my career.
I've met some amazing new friends.
I'm growing every day as a human being. Learning to take care of myself first.
Went on a weekend retreat alone and met some great women.
Applied for a leadership program that I have dreamed of doing for years (Still waiting to hear back on that one).
Kept a porch garden alive, even through the move!
Put together a plan for a fall fitness exercise program.

And I can say after all of the crazy that was my life, I and standing here today telling you about it. I am proof you can find the zen between the chaos folks.

Now if I can just survive this full moon on Friday the 13th thing, I'll be golden!

Fall is coming. Let the adventures begin!


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When the Universe knows you need a laugh

Yesterday was the Monday-iest Monday ever! It was definitely one for the books. I even swore on my personal Facebook page, something I try not to do!

Lets just say it was one of those days where I had to really try hard to find something to be grateful for. We all have those days where we feel defeated and like nothing is going right.

For me, running on maybe 2 hours of sleep, I was able to find 2 things to be grateful for yesterday. The first was the beautiful weather we had. It was near 70 and felt oh so good. A warm pleasant day always puts me in a good mood. Hearing all the birds chirping and the laughter of kids as they play outdoors. Being able to leave the house with only a light coat and flats with no socks. Those are my kind of days.

Then I enjoy the sweet sounds of the night coming alive as all the creatures serenade us with their chirps and songs. Sleeping with my window open is soothing to me. I laid down and felt myself drifting off into a quiet place as the nature lullaby relaxed my tired body. Something I would call Heaven.

As I laid there I could hear Grace come in from outside and come running up the stairs. She greeted me with a loud meow that startled me, even though I knew she was there. She instantly came up to get some attention and when she realized I was not that interested after a few pets, she decided to find somewhere to sleep.

She struggled with getting into R's armoire and knocked over the alarm clock in the process. It fell loudly for some reason, even making a big crash noise onto the carpeted floor. Once again I was startled awake.

It was quiet again for maybe a second or 2 before Cher started belting out at the top of her lungs "If I could turn back time.."

It was clear someone was trying to cheer me up. This was some kind of sign for sure. I am not sure what kind it was, but all I could do was burst into a big laughing fit. What else can you do when you have the Monday-iest day ever? 

I was grateful for the laughter and whoever in the universe knew I needed that laugh.

Ever have one of those days?

Namaste!

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Friday Magic

Welcome to the magic. Do you feel the magic in the air? Usually this is something I reserve strictly for the Fall (My favorite time of year!), but this year something feels super magical about the Spring.

I can feel something brewing in the energy around me. Something big is about to happen. 

Maybe it is just me being super happy that it is FINALLY Friday and I need something to carry me through, but somehow I think it is more then that.

Do you ever have those feelings? You can feel the change coming, but can't quite put your finger on what it is?

It could also be that the light is finally here. We are moving out of the darkness of the winter and moving to warmer and brighter times. I don't know about you, but the warmth and the bright sun always makes me feel better.

Over the next few weeks you will probably see a little bit more of me as I prepare for the big move (EEEK!) and my mind wants to just spew all the things about it.

I am also slowly getting back to reading blogs again. I have missed all of your daily knowledge and stories. I literally would come home everyday from work and scroll the internet looking for houses for sale and things I can do to make all kinds of changes around me.

But here I am.. I've moved through all of the darkness of winter and all of the hurdles of getting my family into a bigger space that suits our needs better. The first quarter of this year is already almost over and I feel like I did a lot of work in it. Work that can't exactly be seen by everyone, but work that made important strides in my life.

I truly hope you all have a wonderful and magical start to your weekend. Spring is here and the light is coming. To everyone who has struggled through the darkness of Winter, know things are getting better. Look to the light and even if only for a moment, you can see the glimmer of hope to better days to come.

Namaste my friends.


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Hello April!

Hi friends!

I've missed you! Spring has been bustling with new things here in my household which has kept me go, go, going for sure!

Spring has always been a time for new projects, new adventures, and growth. It is definitely living up to those standards this year.

We bought a new car AND are in the process of buying a house. That all went down in March.

Of course it all had to happen in the same month, but I am grateful for finding all the things we were looking for in such a short time. I will update more about them both soon!

Having a new home and more space will give me a more dedicated space to sit down and blog. When Ben was born the room that I was working out of for my job became half of Ben's room. That made it hard to sit down and write once Ben went to bed.

I find I need that quiet, uninterrupted space to write. I also found I like sitting at a desk rather then sitting on my couch with my laptop trying to bang out blog posts.

I have had this streak of motivation and creativity to get moving on some long put aside projects, and I'm hoping once we get into the new house, all of those creative juices are still flowing. We are aiming for sometime in June, so fingers crossed!

So, if you have missed my posts, I am hoping to be back more regularly once we get into the new space. Home decor is going to be my new job! The house is unique in itself, so can't wait to share it and some of the projects I have in mind.

Talk soon!

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A Fun Little Questionnaire About Me

Today I thought it would be fun to re-acquaint myself to all of you. I picked out some fun questions from a "getting to know you" questionnaire in hopes that it will be fun and not boring... We shall see..

What job would you be terrible at? I would be terrible at anything that requires me to have upper body strength. So things like waitressing or body builder.. lol. I have the worst upper body strength. Even when I was my fittest and was working out I would never seem to gain much strength. I have a hard time carrying my son now that he's 18 pounds. 

 What have you only recently formed an opinion about? Politics. I have never really cared either way. I just stayed out of it all. Now I have some strong opinions about a few things that I'd love to change. Still not something I am going to strike up a conversation with a random stranger about, but it is definitely something new for me. 

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Travel, hands down. Seriously if you have never gotten on a plane and just explored, do it. If only once, go somewhere and see the world you live in. It is something I did quite a bit of and wish I had gone more at this point. I have more responsibility now, but I am just now realizing that doesn't mean my life is on hold. 

How different was your life one year ago? Well for starters, I was getting more sleep, sort of. I was pretty close to giving birth to baby bloob, but I still had my own sleeping patterns. 

 Music break! What are you listening to? Green Day- When I Come Around

What are you addicted to? Right now I am addicted to learning more about everything it seems. I can't stop reading how to's and just anything to give me more knowledge in my life. 

What is your spirit animal and why? Cat. I don't care what anyone says, cats are resilient animals. Grace has a sense like nothing I have ever seen. She knows when I am sad. She knows when I am sick. She knows when something isn't right in the house. She is my savior and love all in one. 

 Do you believe in magic? Explain. I believe in the magic within the world we live. I believe in the magic we can unleash in ourselves when we really let ourselves live. Magic happens when we let it. 

 What is something that fires you up and really shows your personality? I am a music fanatic. I love, love, love it all. I remember my life in song. I can tell you exactly where I was in life with the lyrics of a song. I live for a good concert and won't accept seats outside of the front 10 rows. 

 What is something your coworkers don't know about you? I am very insecure and have a hard time taking compliments when I do a good job. I have a Marketing degree, but never intended to use it for traditional marketing. I wanted to be a band manager of a famous musician. I graduated and went out to Los Angeles where I worked at an entertainment marketing company owned by the original managers of the band The Offspring. While working there, I was able to have lunch with The Offspring and then immediately after attended their set where I lost my shoe in the mosh pit. Good times right?

 Tell me something fun about you!
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A Valentine For Yourself


 
On this day of love, let’s celebrate the love we have for ourselves! This is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. Do this by making a list of things that you have accomplished that at one point you thought were hard.

Thinking about this I have a lot of accomplishments I never consider on a day to day basis. We are a pretty amazing species when we stop and look at what we can do.

Here is my list:

I became a mom: This is something I was so scared of. The whole time I carried Ben I prayed every night I would be a good mom. I prayed I would be able to handle a little human. I prayed I wouldn’t mess my kid up because I had no idea what I was doing. Well that kid is 10 months old and he’s loving and happy and an all-around great kid.

Becoming a certified Yoga teacher: There are days I still can’t believe I accomplished this. I am that person who is terrified of speaking in front of a room of people and would never raise my hand to volunteer as a demonstrator at an event, yet I signed on to not only talk to a room of people, but teach them how to move their bodies in a way that will enhance their lives. This is HUGE for me.

Becoming a leader: This one can be taken differently by different people, but to me, it is an accomplishment. I always felt like the follower in life with a million ideas. I never seem to know what to do to implement my own ideas, so I would just do what others do. Now I understand how to be a leader and to follow my own lead and dreams. I know my own worth. This makes me feel so very accomplished.

Getting up every day: This may sound silly, but when dealing with depression and all the things, this can be hard. You want so hard to get up and be a happy person, but you don’t feel that way and staying in bed sounds like a better idea. It is an accomplishment to me every day when I choose to live my life verses sleep it away. When winter is over, those feelings die down and it’s easier, but when full on winter is here, this is an everyday struggle.

There are so many other things I can list here. Our accomplishments are all around us. We just need to recognize them. I hope you take a moment today to check in with yourself. Pat yourself on the back and keep on keeping on my friend! You are loved when you love yourself.

Namaste <3


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A cute little rambling about stress



It's Tuesday night and we have gotten some weather today... ya know the white stuff with some ice mixed in? Yeah that weather. I am sitting here after putting the baby to bed drinking a glass of wine and eating popcorn. Dinner of champions right there!

It was a long day for a Tuesday. Snow and ice always stresses me out. You just never know how the roads are going to be. Driving with a baby is also a new stressor in my life. I now have to watch everyone around me and mentally tell them to "stay back" and "slow down!" and all the things that you internally (or maybe externally) yell at other cars.

The point of all that complaining is I need to get back to regularly doing yoga and other things that tackle stress and my well-being. This popcorn and wine ain't doing it! I work at a gym, per se, but I don't get much time to actually use it. Since giving birth to Ben my whole body is out of wack, and I just last week got the magical idea of going to the chiropractor. It's been WAY too long!

Well between them cancelling me last week and the weather today, I am now scheduled for NEXT week to get in. I keep telling myself that once I go and get aligned everything else will fall into place. Maybe it's just an excuse, but I am quite set on that excuse to do nothing about my fitness and stress relief until then.

I am honestly holding myself to the promise that once I have seen the chiropractor and get myself put back together, I will start moving my body again. It's pretty frightening. To imagine a year ago how much more I was working out and moving my body and I was 6 months pregnant with Ben! Now he is 10 months old. He will be a year in 2 months (My math isn't wrong here, Ben was 5 weeks early).

It's time to get myself in working order and lower my stress. Next week will be the week I do something for me.

Do you like to exercise to release stress? If not what is your stress relief?

Namaste




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Yes.. I've Jumped on the Marie Kondo Train

I know everyone is talking about Marie Kondo... again. When her book came out in 2012 there was a lot of buzz about her tidying up methods, especially in the blogging world. As with anything that comes out there was lots of love and lots of hate it seems for the methods. It seemed to have died down until recently when Netflix released Tidying up with Marie Kondo.

I knew nothing about it (I seem to live under a rock) until I started seeing meme's on Facebook like this one:


This made me laugh.. 1. because I am a huge thrifter and 2. it's so true! People will be going through stuff and getting rid of things after watching the series and I want to be ready. #sorrynotsorry.

After the initial laugh, I realized I also need to go through my house and declutter and organize. We are planning to buy a house this year and I really don't want to move all the things that don't bring me joy.

I also realized I am a box person.. meaning I basically create clutter by putting things in boxes rather than either finding a home for it or just getting rid of it. As we speak there are 3 small boxes lined up along the wall next to my bed with "stuff" in them. The stuff is defined by random things that I don't know what else to do with. (I will post a photo of these boxes. Stay tuned!

Just by writing this post, I have realized how much I really need to go through all of this stuff and get rid of it.

I also have a problem with clothes. Most of my clothes don't fit since having the baby. Do I just get rid of everything pre-baby? Do I hold on until I lose the baby weight? Like seriously none of it brings me joy right now because of obvious reasons, but dude it's like 90% of my wardrobe. That just sounds expensive.

I am going to have to think about that one. I will however probably try the folding methods due to having no space in my drawers. I am hoping this will at least create more space and I will be able to find what I am looking for.

We BADLY need to work on our paper clutter. We have stuff everywhere. It is time to sort and shred. This actually brings me anxiety. There is SO much and it is mostly because R doesn't like to get rid of any record of anything, Some things I understand keeping, but a brochure from your bank from 20 years ago probably doesn't need to be kept?

Anywho, I think I am going to try this out. I am going to at lease sort and fold my clothes and get rid of the boxes of "stuff". That is something I have put off WAY to long!

I also want to remind myself to thank my house more. It is a good house. It deserves some love!

I will check back soon with my progress!

Have you tried the KonMari methods?

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2019: February Goals and Mantras



It has been awhile since I have blogged some of my goals. February seems like a good month to start it up again. I also picked a word for my year. I haven't really blogged so I hadn't mentioned that.

2019's word is evolve. I picked this word because it represents my current self becoming my best self. I am evolving everyday and it is a great word to focus on.

Goals I have for this month are pretty simple:

Self - Love: February is a month for love so why not love on yourself?  You need to love yourself before you can properly love another. I am getting better at this, but it will always be an ongoing goal for me.

Journal: I bought a new journal this year and I really love it. I have written pretty regularly so I need to keep it up.

Blog: I love to write. The journal helps with this, but I need to come here and scratch that itch as well. I love community and writing here helps me build that.

Find a hobby: I need something new to do to help me get out of my current rut. Not sure what that will be yet, but I wold love to hear your ideas!

Nothing too deep here, but I have decided to keep my goals light and fun this year. We already live in a hard and stressful world, why make our lives like that too with difficult goals?

Some mantras that have been a part of my everyday life are all about becoming and staying true to myself. I am loving these:




What are your goals for February?

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How a week can change your life

This post has been a long one coming. Blogging has really taken a backseat in my life while I sort through the remains of the the person I was even 6 months ago. Sounds a little dramatic, I know, but I am definitely not the same person I was 6 months ago.

One week back in September really changed my outlook on life and shaped me into a different mindset. I am not sure yet if that can be categorized as a good thing or a bad thing yet, but I want to believe it was mostly good. and

The week of September 10th 2018, 3 major things happened. First, I went into work on Monday and quit my job. It was something that I needed for my own sanity and self care. 2nd I quit pumping/breastfeeding Ben. It was not bringing me any kind of joy and Ben was frustrated so I just stopped. And the last thing that happened, the one thing that is still laying heavy on my heart is the disappearance of my cat Rick.

A lot of change happened at once and it made me feel relief and major stress. I wasn't sure what to do next. I anticipated I would spend more time with Ben and bond with him. I did do those things, but I knew something was missing. I still needed that purpose in life outside of being a mom. I wanted a job. I wanted something to do with my time other then just be a mom.

Some people may call that selfish, and I am sorry if you feel that way, but this was the best choice for me. I didn't really have a plan, but I just started applying for jobs. After about a month of being without a job I was hired. I had no child care plan or anything for Ben. I just prayed that if it was meant to be, it would be.

I have been with my new company for almost 4 months. It has been a learning experience. Ben goes to a home daycare 5 days a week and it is great for him. He interacts with 3 other kids in his age bracket and it has been so rewarding.

I have finally given myself the credit I deserve with my skills. I applied for a job I wouldn't have even considered a year ago. I am the marketing director for my local YMCA and it is amazing. I deserved this job years ago when I doubted myself and only applied for admin positions.

At some point through all of the change, I also felt a little closer to my spiritual self. I was able to meditate and clear my head and feel a little more put together. I completed my Reiki 1 certification and currently am working on Reiki 2. I have found some wonderful teachers to help me on this spiritual journey I'm on.

Ben is a few days away from being 10 months old and he is thriving. He is a happy, spunky little boy. He loves to laugh and blow raspberries and is know for making all the kids at his daycare growl with him. He is saying momma, dadda, and baba. He is just about crawling, but has a mean army crawl. He and Grace have come to a truce and will spend time together without a fight.

This is the year me and R will buy our first home together. We have rented our home the whole time we have lived together and with the expanding of our family when Ben came, it is time for a bigger space.

We plan to take our first family vacation this year. All the kids and grandparents if they want to join us.

2019 is going to be a year of big growth and love. Both for myself as an individual and as a family unit.

I can't wait to share it with you!

So tell me, what big changes have you had in your life recently?


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New Year. Same Me?

A new year is often a time for new beginnings and resolutions. Some people never make it past the first month of their promises of the new year. This year I decided rather then make a resolution to something I will do this year, I decided to just be okay with who I currently am.

I will always be the girl following her dreams. Sometimes that takes me off the path a bit, but I always seem to find my way back. I want to learn everything I can possibly learn in a lifetime. Sometimes that means learning the hard things. Life things.

I want to continue to strive for being the best me I can be. That means I will often fail and have to pick myself right back up, dust myself off, and keep on moving. Sometimes that can be hard. Sometimes life challenges us to the point where we feel like nothing will ever get better.

So 2019 will be just that. Me, being me. Me learning to love the person I currently am. Me continuing to be the best person I can be.

I have A LOT to tell you. I will be back to tell you soon. This week even :)

Happy middle of the month!

Namaste


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Heal the world with your words



"And heal the world with your words", she said. That statement has stood with me for about a week now. I had a Reiki session done with someone I have never met before and she told me part of my journey on this Earth was to heal. She probably saw the state of confusion fall across my face, as I had no idea how I was supposed to do that.

I have never really spoke much about my faith or spirituality here on the blog. I felt called to talk about this today and share a bit of my beliefs and where I have stood most of my life on some of these matters.

I was baptized Catholic as this is what both of my parents were. We were never church goers as a family. We were military and we moved a lot. We didn't have family around and it just seemed easier to not go.

I never quite fit in anywhere we went. I was shy, quiet, and always paying attention to everything around me. I asked my parents once to go to Sunday school (I am not sure what church this was for to this day, I suppose I could ask) with my friends because a bus picked them up and took them to somewhere I assumed was fun.

My mom finally let me go, and friends, I will tell you I was scared to death of what I learned. I heard so much talk about the devil that day, and then was given candy to calm me down. I wasn't quite sure this was the place for me. I was 7 and made my mind up about religion.

As I got older I dabbled in things here and there when it came to religion, but nothing quite stuck. I was always drawn to living a spiritual life. Peaceful and kind. I have always been interested in astrology, tarot cards, and healing stones. I believed in spirits and guides. No one ever told me about these things. I just somehow knew.

When I was in my mid 20's I went on a hunt for a new church. I was going through some hard times and I was drawn to hear about faith. I must of visited 5 or 6 new churches in a 2 month time frame.. None of them seemed to fit. I tried all kinds of denominations.

When I moved away from family and felt alone and stressed I joined a yoga studio. I needed something to get me out of the house and interacting with new people. It is here I truly found my beliefs in faith and spirituality.

Yoga healed me soul. It not only helped my body physically, it helped me mentally and spiritually. I knew this is where I was meant to focus my time. I wanted to honor all souls in my practice. This included humans, animals, and plants. All living things basically.

So back to healing the world. It is said we all have the power to heal. The energy in our body can perform miracles if we let it. We all have gifts we can offer. For me, I have always had a way with listening and with words. Even when I am at my worst, I can still soothe someone with what I have to say.

I was told I needed to keep writing. I needed to keep inspiring. This is how I will heal the world. I honor that but also know once I am ready, yoga will have a big part of how I can help people on need. Maybe it is not just in the poses I offer that help people, but my words. I do not know I want to keep practicing to find out.

Thank you for listening to a little zen between the chaos today my friends. I would love to hear your take on spirituality and what you do and don't believe in. I do not want this to be a place to argue or be unkind to one another. It is a safe space where I truly want you to feel safe talking about this.

Have a wonderful week.

Love, Light, and Namaste,
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The Power of Bravery



Oh Hey. Long time no talk. I am sitting here trying to process the past 2 weeks and even I haven't been able to comprehend it yet.

So here's what happened. I quit my job. Let me say that again, mostly for me.. I. Quit. My. Job.

 Guys, this has been one of the scariest things I have ever done for myself.

I say for myself because I was sick. My health was failing due to the amounts of stress that was overcoming me on a daily basis. I was caring for my infant son while working 40 hours a week. Think about that for a moment. You bring your 4 month old to work with you. You have to tend to his needs PLUS tend to work needs.

Yeah. Not a pretty picture. It's not easy. Don't ever let someone who works from home and takes care of their kids let you believe it is easy. They may put up a good front, but let me tell you, it is so hard. Make sure you praise those people often and offer help whenever you can. I promise you they will be grateful.

Now I am not a quitter. I don't believe in quitting when it gets hard. But this time it was different. Not only was it hard, but my heart was not in it anymore. That is when I knew it was time to go. My heart was going in another direction.

I wanted to bond with my son, but couldn't because I was tired after tending to his needs and working. When I was done working and R got home, I handed bloob over to him and needed a break. This was not how I pictured raising my son.

I took a leap of faith and invested in me. I followed my heart on this one. And even after ending my job, the weight wasn't instantly gone like I had hoped it would be. Nope. There were are still many things I need to address within myself and my home to make that weight completely lift.

This was a start. This was me finally being brave. That brave moment lead me to another moment of heartache and stress. My cat went missing on my third day not working. My baby boy as I call him. Today is day 13 that he has been missing. I have been all over this neighborhood. I have called him. I have put up flyers. I have set traps. I am at an absolute loss on where he is.

My heart is broken and is trying to find the silver lining. Today I found the strength to write about this mess I have been in. I'm hoping for a better tomorrow. I am praying for the strength to be positive that things will finally work out.

Today is hard. Yesterday was hard. Hoping for an easier tomorrow.

Namaste my friends.

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One Day Can Change the World - September 11th- 17 Years Later



Today I feel like that same college freshman standing in front of my TV in shock. Confused is an understatement. What in the world just happened? What now?

17 years ago on a Tuesday life changed forever. We all woke up same as always. I thought about how much I disliked my history class. Seems ironic now. We all went to bed a different person.

 A war of hatred was brought to life here on US soil. In 17 years I've seen things change so drastically it makes me wonder how it could get any worse. And then it does.

September 11th, 2001 was like something you would see in a movie. Not real life. Not in your own backyard. This is an event that our children learn about in their history classes today.

Children who weren't here to experience it, yet have a large crowd of people at their finger tips who were here that day. Their parents. Their siblings. Their grandparents. Their aunts and uncles. Their teachers.

We can all give them our version of this horrific day.  They are all unique to it's storyteller but the feeling is always the same. Shock.

So today, as I write every year on this day is a reminder. One decision can change the world. In this case, it was a bad decision. One that had major consequences. But it was a decision a group of people thought up and made happen.

It is a reminder that our actions have consequences and outcomes. Some of these things we can never take back once they are done. Some of these things can change everything you ever thought you knew about life.

Make the right choice. Do the right thing. Love one another even if you don't have the same beliefs. See a different perspective. If possible agree to disagree. But don't fight with someone just because they are different. And don't fight with yourself just because you don't think the same as the next person.

Just be kind.

One day you may be in their shoes. You may have thought you'd never be doing what you are, but things changed. That's what happened to me yesterday.

Things changed.

Today I woke up in a new chapter of my life. I made a life changing choice yesterday and today at age 35 I woke up a bit in shock and a little confused just like that 18 year old girl did 17 years ago.The same question stands,

What now?



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What's New With You - September Edition

I needed something a little lighter today,  so why not link up with Kristen over at See You in a Porridge for What's New With You? It's been a while since I have done one of these updates.

First off.. Welcome September! The start of the most magical time of the year in my opinion. I love fall. I surrender to it's beauty and crisp air. We had are never getting out of this hot and humid summer, so I am praying the fall weather comes soon!

Now to be a little contradicting to my last statement, I am already dreaming of a vacation for next summer when Baby Bloob is older and I can feel more at ease about traveling a longer distance. (He currently doesn't do well in the car). I keep scrolling through Facebook looking at all of the photos my friends have posted of their annual summer trips with their kids, wondering if this will be me soon.


September is the month of my wedding anniversary. I will be celebrating 2 years on the 24th. I am working on trying to find a quick overnight getaway for me and the hubs, but not sure if that will come together as easily as I'd like.




I am working on a couple of projects here on the blog. One which is my 3 month Get Movin' challenge. This kicks off on the 10th! There is still time to sign up if you were thinking about joining us!

I have mostly given up breastfeeding. This is a topic that still toys with my emotions, but I had to take care of me. Little Bloob is still getting breast milk every day, just not as every meal. The important part is he is happy and fed and I am happier with this arrangement. It was about balance for me and this is what felt right.

I have a couple of life changes coming up and I am gearing up for them. They are all positive, but as in all change, it makes me nervous. I will talk more about this soon.

So that's what's new with me. What's new with you?

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