The Postpartum Diaries: 16 Weeks



I started writing the intro to this post a few weeks ago. It was starting to feel boring to me, as I had nothing really great to say that everyone else hasn't already said. I even debated writing this post. Then this happened. I wrote a post about body image postpartum... sort of. I had a really bad day and really fought with myself about my image and how I was feeling. It was rough. I shed a lot of tears and got a lot of great support.

But as always, with support there will always be criticism. You will always have someone who will either misunderstand you or just really want to fight with you. I get it. It happens. It is SO hard to put myself out there on the internet on a regular day, but I do it because I love sharing stories with all of you. It was SUPER hard to talk about my weight postpartum.

I want to be clear. I feel bad about my weight because I don't feel good. Like literally feel sick in my body. My body aches because of the weight. This isn't a "oh my, I am ugly now because I can't wear super tiny clothes in the middle of summer and show off my assets" kid of feeling. Also..no where did I ever post that my weight and image was more important than my child.

Yes. Someone actually attacked me for caring more about my weight then my child. *crickets chirping*

When did I say that? 

And to be honest. The ones who attacked me the most were the people I know outside of blog land. They are people who I know personally. Family members. Friends. Acquaintances. People I know who have gone through this themselves.

Why must we be so ugly to one another, even when we know how it feels?

But honestly, that's all another post for another time. Today is about an update on everything else going on, not just the weight or the pity party I threw myself.

Here's what's going on since my last postpartum update. It has been 10 weeks. Little Bloob is 16 weeks old today. Where in the world has time gone? Little man is doing great. Chattering away and rolling over. He got his big boy seat, AKA the high chair. He enjoys sitting in it watching us cook meals throughout the day. He has also starting teething, so that has been fun.

The last time I updated I was having some trouble with breastfeeding. The good news is, it got better, just like everyone said it would. I still don't produce enough for him to eat full time breast milk, but he is getting it. That is all that matters to me. He is healthy and thriving and that is most important.

I have returned back to work full-time. It's been 8 weeks already. For those of you who don't know I work from home. I am not my own boss, so I actually have a 9-5 schedule to keep. Many people think it's the best thing ever to work from home when you have a baby. Spoiler alert. It's not.

I didn't have to deal with daycare of separation anxiety, but I do have the stress of taking care of my infant while trying to get my job done. More info coming on that next week. Stay tuned.

We all know I struggled with weight gain over the past 10 weeks, so we won't get back into that. I will say I have really taken a look at my diet and have been making better choices for about a full month now. I am measuring out my portions and it really makes the difference on how I see food.

I'm learning a lot about nutrition and how to safely change my lifestyle while still providing nourishment for my son. I have watched my milk supply soar and I have watched it come to a screeching halt. My whole body is counting on the food I put in my body. I am slowly learning to accept that.

At 16 weeks I am starting to get a real handle on being a new mom. I know my kids signals and little quirks. I know when he's hungry or when he just wants to snuggle. I know that he doesn't like to eat when he's working on a poop. I get it little dude. I don't either.

I have come a long way in the last 16 weeks. I have learned so much about myself and about little human beings. I have learned to have patience and when to put everything down, including the baby and walk away for a few minutes to catch my sanity.

I am a new person everyday when I wake up. I never know what challenges will be thrown at me in this new world of parenthood.

So tell me.. How am I doing? How did your first few months of parenthood go? I'd love to hear your stories!





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100 Dreams Project Vol 9



Happy Friday. We made it. I wasn't sure I was going to make it on Tuesday, so this is a huge accomplishment. It's been a pretty challenging week and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier now that it's the end of it. The weekend may bring some relief to the challenges but Monday they will be back.

One of those challenges brings me back to a post about my cat Grace. We decided to have some testing done because of her behavior. We got some news that could mean many things. A lot of those things may not be great news. We need to do more tests to see what's causing the issues, but my heart is breaking thinking about this. I try not to think of the worst, but it's been very hard for me not to.

Grace was my therapy kitty. I got her when I was in a very bad place a few years ago and she has helped me immensely with my anxiety. I adopted her from the shelter. We rescued each other. The thought of her not being with me tears me apart inside. As I am typing this I have tears streaming down my face. It's such an emotional topic for me.

All I can ask is, please pray for my kitty. She's 3 and has a lot of life to live still. I still need her.

I continue to remind myself that all of these challenges are helping me become a stronger person. I will get through this. So let's get on to the dreams for this week. Today marks the 2nd to last week of my 100 Dreams project. Crazy right? Next week will be my grant finale!

I hope I can push hard to find those last 10 dreams. It's gotten tough the last few weeks to really think about what I want. Let's take a look at number 81-90.

81. Learn to let go of guilt and resentment
82. Eat pastries in Paris
83. Get over my fear of public speaking and travel to speak about mental illness and self love
84. Rescue as many shelter cats as humanly possible
85.Take a cooking class to learn how to make appetizers and desserts. All the little fancy things!
86. Visit Ayana Resort in Bali to experience the floating champagne breakfast in a pool
87. Stay in a hut over the water in Figi
88. Go on a Mediterranean cruise
89. Have my photos commissioned for a great cause (I like to photograph scenery)
90. Eliminate hate in this world. Be the change. Be a leader. Make it happen.

Have a wonderful weekend, and don't forget to dream!



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Is Writing My "Thing"?


I have to admit, I didn't plan a post for today. I sat here last night staring at the screen, wondering what it was that needed to be said. What was on my mind? What did the interwebs need to hear from me today?

Some days it's like the universe speaks to me clearly. An idea pops up and I run with it. Other days the universe makes me work for it. Today is clearly one of those days.

It's been raining here for 3 days. The sky is gloomy and the air is thick. Needless to say it is pretty miserable outside.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to be doing with my life in the upcoming months. I feel like I say that often, but if we aren't thinking about it, what else would we be doing? Now maybe your answer to that question is just "Going with the flow"

I'm not gonna lie, I love living life as it comes at me, but I also need to be a little smarter with my adventure attitude as I have a child to think of these days. I can't do something too rash that I leave myself in a bad situation if my plan backfires on me.

I often daydream of becoming a freelancer. Writing while the baby naps. I never considered myself a writer before starting this blog. I do enjoy writing as well as doing research. I also love reviewing products, events, and life in general.

My favorite part is interacting with everyone who comes in contact with my writing. I love to have conversation about the topics I write, even if they are challenging at times. People are my thing. I love meeting and helping people as much as I can.

Each time I have my tarot cards read by my friend, I always get cards that reference writing. Maybe it was meant to be? Maybe it is what my future holds?

I'm not really sure right now, but it sure does sound interesting. Now maybe someone will read this and will think, "Man, that Trish sure knows what she's doing in life" and will offer me a weekly writing opportunity.

I can dream right? I mean I am all about the dreams these days..

Namaste my friends.



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Coffee Chat Vol 1



Most days I'm an introvert to a T. Today I'm coming out of my shell a bit and inviting you to coffee. For me, I'll be having a cold brew, which is my new obsession to beat this summer heat.

You, I'd hope would order something interesting so I would have something to start the conversation with. I find that less awkward then asking about the weather.

Once we get passed the small talk I'd admit how I've been feeling in my everyday life. A bit overwhelmed and still feeling like I'm not enough.

I would tell you my mind rushes a mile a minute, but I think I've found a way to slow it down. Walking along the lake. Early morning walks in the nice breeze before the hot temps sneak up.

It's been on these walks that I've had some new ideas about my blog. Things that will be good for me, and may spark interest with some of you. I know we are all struggling with something at some point.

I'd tell you that it brings me complete joy knowing that some of my stories have helped someone else, even if I never hear about it. Sometimes the universe just lets me know. It's magical like that.

Circling back to being overwhelmed and not feeling like enough, I'd tell you about a self love project in the works for August and September. More details to come.

I'd also tell you how much I love my son more and more everyday. It's a struggle some days learning to be a mom, but I wouldn't change it for anything. This is why self love is so important.

I'd tell you I am sad that my 100 dreams project will be coming to an end in just 2 short weeks. It is because of this that I am going to do a follow up series called "Living the Dream". You can't just make lists and not expect to follow through right?

Lastly, I'd tell you I finally did the one thing I said I'd never do. I dropped my cellphone in a parking lot and shattered the screen in the upper corner. Yep. It happened. Good way to confirm that, yes indeed your phone screen is made of glass.

I'd then remember one more thing before we parted ways. Something that brought me pure joy this weekend. While cleaning out some old boxes I came across my old iPod. Like really old. The original iPod Mini. I got it for Christmas in 2005. At that moment I was glad I never parted with my iHome. Also an original, because I had no cords for the iPod. I hooked it all up and was instantly brought back to my early 20's.

Man what a feeling.

Happy Monday friends. Thanks for that chat!

Namaste.


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100 Dreams Project Vol 8



It's that time again. Time for my next 10 dreams. I can't believe I am posting my 80th dream today! It feels like I just started this  project, and we are at 8 weeks already!

I have really loved doing this series as it reminds me that even on the really low days, I still have dreams. Once I wrap up all 100 dreams I will do some follow ups. They will all be put in one area as well so they are easier found if you had interest to see what I had on my list.

So without further adieu, numbers 71-80!

71. Commit to a healthy lifestyle with food and stick with it.
72. Backpack across southeast Asia (Thailand, Laos, Vietnam)
73. Stay in a hostel
74. Get over my fear of swimming in bodies of water
75. Create a brand that's recognized for empowering women of all body shapes
76. Visit Disney locations all over the world
77. Learn to be patient with not only myself but with others
78. Love myself unconditionally
79. Be comfortable in shorts and tank tops. It's been a LONG time
80. Own an Italian Greyhound

Check out my 100 Dreams Project Into to get started on your own list!

I hope all of your hopes and dreams come true! Have a wonderful weekend!

Namaste




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Stitch Fix July 2018 + Body Image

Another week, another fix. This fix in particular was to pick out a dress for a wedding I am going to in August. I asked for dresses and possibly some cute shoes. I am still so self conscious over my body these days, but I am doing this for motivation.

*Edit*
I want to be honest about how these photos made me feel. These photos inflicted a chain of events that I never thought would happen. They made me address a demon that I have been avoiding since long before I had little Bloob.

I am overweight.

I know this. I have known this. This isn't something that is new to me. I went through a lot of body changes over the years. Between being happy, being depressed, moving to new places, and family drama. You name it, it probably effected my weight.

While I was pregnant with my little man I got asked about 10 times in one visit if I had gestational diabetes. This was based on them looking at me and assuming I had it because I am overweight.

I did not gain much while pregnant. In fact, I was mostly baby. I was so pleased with how well I did through the pregnancy. I was healthy, the baby was healthy, and all went well for the most part.

I am struggling more now then I have ever struggled in my life with my body image. I reached out to my personal Facebook page for help. I have received the most amazing outpour of support it brought tears to my eyes.

I forgot what it was like to ask for help. It made the difference. I posted one of the photos I took during this photo shoot I did for this post. My son was in the photo. I got such beautiful words of encouragement. I was wearing the red Evalynn brushed knit dress.

I looked again and I saw the promise in my eyes.,  the love I had for my son, and how beautiful the red looked on me.

I want to thank Stitch Fix for pulling me out of my comfort zone. For making me want to try harder. I put on these clothes and post photos of myself on the internet. That is VERY hard for me right now. I did it. I not only posted here for strangers I have never met, but in a space where all my friends, family, acquaintances, and lurkers can see me.

Thank you all for the support and kindness you have shown me. Much love.


Now onto the Fix...


For those of you unfamiliar with Stitch Fix, it is a monthly clothing subscription where you get a personal stylist to send you 5 pieces according to your profile. You have the opportunity to write your stylist a note each month further customizing your fix. You pay a $20 styling fee each month to receive the fix, which is then deducted from the cost of anything you keep from your fix. If you keep all 5 items you also receive a 25% discount. Pretty great right? If you have interest in trying out the fix, I would appreciate it greatly if you used my affiliate link. 



French Grey Evalynn Brushed Knit Dress

This dress has grown on me since I first tried it on. I don't think I own anything red, but I also don't think it's fancy enough for the wedding I am going to next month. I unfortunately sent it back. Sort of regret it now!

Kaileigh Lennox Tie Waist Detail Dress and Report Penley Textured Mule


 I really liked this dress while not on me. It was too clingy in places I am not ready to show off. I really liked the color and the patterns, but this time I had to say no, and send it back. The heels were also sent. I thought they were really cute, but they did not fit my feet well. I have wide feet and these were just a bit too tight. They went back.


Wisp Calla Knit Maxi Dress and Bancroft Milla Circle Layer Bracelet


Oh my heart. I really love this dress, but again, don't love it on me. This postpartum body of mine is just not making me love any of these outfits on me. This one is also washing me out more than I realized. I asked for another size in this to see how it goes, but now that I see how much it washes me out I will probably return this one was well. I was also sent the bracelet. I do not really wear bracelets. It was pretty, but not for me.



I have already mentioned this in another post, but I have been struggling with my postpartum body. I know it produced life and that is something really special. I am trying to come to terms with it, but I am having a hard time with the fact that I have put on a lot of weight in the past 3 months since giving birth.

It was hard for me to post these photos. I feel like I am going in reverse with these posts. I was a bit skinnier in the last photos and to see these have really made me sad. I know I should love my body as it is, and I am sincerely trying.

I am grateful for all of the support I receive here, and I know putting myself out there like this will once again bring support, and it's for that reason I do it.

Which dress did you like the most?


Exciting News!





Did you hear? Stitch Fix just launched their new service for kids! This excites me beyond words because I love the service for me. The sizes start at 2T and go up to size 14. Baby Bloob is still a few years away from those size points, but he will definitely be getting a fix when he's in those sizes! I mean, just look at that cute dinosaur outfit!

 Each fix comes with 8-12 personalized items and has a price range between $10 and $35 an item. At launch brands included are: Kate Spade, Under Armor, Nike, Toms, Hannah Andersson,

Get started today by clicking on the banner below! Just think about how much time you will save not having go to the store with your little


I can't wait to see all the littles in their Stitch Fix outfits!


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Friday Chat featuring 100 Dreams Project vol 7


Happy Friday folks! Man it was a long one. If you read my post from yesterday, you know it was just one of those weeks.

I had a ton of posts sort of prepped for this week, but not 100% ready to go, so that was a big fail on my part. The time just never came. Now I have all kinds of stuff for next week, which is nice.

Anywho.. I am looking forward to my weekend. I have a sort of busy day on Saturday, but all good things. My parents are coming to visit with us and then me, R, and the bloob are headed to a Jack and Jill bridal shower.

So let's get into 5 things that are worth chatting about from this week.

1. 100 Dreams Project


I can't believe I am already up to number 70! This is my seventh week sharing my dreams with all of you. It has been really eye opening and I just cant believe how easy it has become to share my inner desires with the world. Have you ever written yours down? For more info on the project, visit the intro here.

61. Fly in a glider
62. Take a honeymoon (We will be married 2 years in September and haven't done this yet)
63. Renew my vows in 20 years
64. Pose nude for an artist confidently
65. Record a song in a recording studio
66. Meet the royal family (The Winsors)
67. Show my son the world
68. Write a novel that gets adapted into a movie.
69. Visit world renowned spas around the world.
70. Practice yoga in India

2. All the books!

I went to the library this week and walked out with 4 books. That is A LOT for me. I am hoping I can read them all. They are all mostly books on business related topics. I remember a time when non-fiction books bored me to tears. Now I devour them. The more knowledge I can get, the better.
What about you? What are you reading these days?

3. Baby Bloob is 3 months old!

How in the world is that even possible?! I don't want to believe it, but he has grown so much over the past 2 weeks. He smiles more. He stays awake and interacts more. He SLEEPS more. The only thing that I am not as excited for is, he is starting to teeth.

He is not so great yet with his hands and holding things, so I had to buy one of those pacifier teethers for him. He is still a little unsure about it, but I an tell he likes the feeling on his gums. I am sure he will warm up to it soon.

It looks like he will be keeping his blue eyes. That makes this momma super happy. Everyone says he looks like his dad, but it's nice to see a little bit of me in him. He's got those Irish eyes. They make my heart melt!

Also I am still really on the fence on whether or not I want to share photos of my little. I love him to pieces and I love to talk about him, but I am still not sure I want to share his photos on the internet yet. We will see as things go, but this is how I feel right now.

If you have kids, how do you feel about sharing on your blog/social media/etc?

4. Postpartum Body



This week I really started working on losing some of this weight. It was time. Bloob is 3 months old and I need to stop making excuses. He will only be running all over the house soon. I need to be able to keep up. I am cutting down my carb intake by a lot. I realized I eat a TON of carbs daily. Not so good for the weight loss situation.

I need to remind myself I am still breastfeeding so I can't do anything too crazy, but eating better makes me feel better. The above photo is where I am currently. It is hard to tell in this photo, but I still have quite a baby pouch that needs to go bye bye.

I am more concerned about being healthy then looking good, but that would be a nice added bonus right?


5.  Amazon Prime Day

Signing up with my affiliate link will not cost you anything. I may make a small commission on your purchase. Know I appreciate you for using any of my affiliate links. <3


Ya'll, Amazon Prime Day is just 3 days away! On Monday (July 16th) at 3pm EST Prime Day starts and runs through Tuesday (July 17th). That's 36 hours of deals! There are a few great promotions going on already that you can take advantage of now.

You can get 3 months of Kindle Unlimited for just $0.99! If you're a reader, you need this!
Maybe you prefer to listen to your books. Save 66% off a 3 month subscription to Audible!
Are you a student? Try Prime Student for 6 months free! Just in time for back to school!

What promotions are you most excited for? Me? I'm going to take advantage of the 3 month subscription to Audible. Now that I have Baby Bloob, I need to be hands free!

End of week thoughts

It was a very hectic week for me. I didn't accomplish much on the blog, but I crammed it all into one post today. Sorry about that. I had a lot I wanted to get posted and it just didn't happen. I am experimenting with affiliates and well here they all are!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I will see you all back  here on Monday!

Namaste



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When you read between the lines: A rambling

You ever have one of those weeks that kind of takes you for a loop and it throws off your whole schedule? Well that's been this week for sure. Lots of unexpected curveballs that have kept me away from my computer other then for work.

I promised myself a few months ago that I would not apologize anymore for my absences here on the blog. It is hard, but I am learning to let it happen. Life happened. What matters is that this space still brings me joy.

And it does.

Tonight I wanted to write. I wanted to just put some positive into the world. We need that from time to time. We need it from others and we need it from ourselves.

On nights like this, I sit here in silence reminding myself that even when things get tough, I am grateful. I have my beautiful little family. I have people who love me in all areas of my life. I have a roof over my head and a bountiful garden.

I am grateful.

This week on top of all of the crazy, I also decided to start eating better. Start tracking what I am eating and really putting my foot down. It has been 13 weeks since baby bloob was born. I have no excuse anymore to think I am "eating for two".

Comfort food is okay when I need comfort, but I think I have been eating like every meal will be my last. It has started to become very unhealthy for me and my small frame. The weight that I put on before the pregnancy plus the lingering weight from the pregnancy is really doing a number on my knees.

I am human.

You will be reading this on Thursday and I will be counting down the days until Friday. I'm always in a hurry these days. Trying to get to the next thing. I need to remind myself that I not only need to live the length of my life, I also need to live the width.

I need to expand myself so I don't live for the weekend every single day. That makes for a very anxious and tedious life. There's got to be more to life then just living from week to week. Sort of life living paycheck to paycheck. Never saving. Never moving forward.

I will evolve.

On nights like these I need to look at my 100 dreams list. I need to remind myself that those dreams are attainable if I would just think outside the box. Things will change once I reset my thoughts.

Tonight I am full of wonder and anxiety. I want everything to happen now. I am tired of waiting. But then I remind myself that waiting isn't the answer. I need to react and get myself in motion. Keep the mind positive. Then things will happen.

I need patience.

What has been lingering on your mind these days?





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100 Dreams Project - Vol. 6


Happy Friday dreamers! What kind of dream crushing are you cooking up for the weekend? Me? I'm going to catch up on some reading that is going to help me with something I am very excited about, but can't announce yet. It is a step towards something that is on my dreams list already. Sorry to be so vague, but in the meantime, here are the next 10 dreams on my list!

51. Ride in a hot air balloon
52. Attend a summer Olympics
53. Make $100,00 in one year and then increase it every year forward.
54. Be invited to the White House (Hopefully under a different administration all together)
55. Be published in a magazine
56. Visit Singapore
57. Appear in a movie
58. Have a garden/greenhouse that feeds my family through the year
59. Zipline through the jungles of Costa Rica
60. Commit to keeping a journal for 1 full year

Happy dreaming!



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BLT Pasta Salad for 4th of July



I don't know about you, but when I think of Fourth of July I don't just think red, white, and blue. I think fireworks and pasta salad. I feel like everyone wants to show off their new pasta salads like it's a new car or something.

"OMG did you see Susan's pasta salad? It had some kind of seeds in it. Yes SEEDS!"

Oh Susan. Always trying to one up the next salad. I'm pretty sure I'm Susan in this story so I'm gonna share my pasta salad recipe that is currently packed and ready to roll.

BLT Pasta Salad

What you need:
1 lb of elbow pasta
1lb of bacon
1 container of cherry or grape tomatoes
2 to 3 green onions
1 cup mayonnaise 
1-2 tbsp of white vinegar

Prepare your elbows to al dente. It should look like this when done:


While your elbows are boiling, fry your bacon. Once bacon is complete chop into small pieces. Follow with chopping up your green onions. Stems only. Then cut your mini tomatoes in half. I use kitchen scissors to cut the onions and tomatoes.


Mix together your pasta, bacon, tomatoes, and onions. Once they are tossed together add your mayo and vinegar. 


Voila! You have a pretty impressive salad that takes under an hour to prep. You can save time by cooking your bacon the night before. Just put it in a pretty red or blue bowl and it's all festive for the 4th!


Presentation is everything guys.. Look at that mayo all over the side of the bowl. So pretty.. Oh and that water bottle in the background is super sexy.. yeah. woops!



Take that Susan! I may have also made a fruit salad....

So tell me. Are you a Susan?

I hope you have a wonderful 4th! Stay safe out there kids!



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Amazon Purchases Vol 1

Like many people these days, I do A LOT of my shopping on Amazon. Having a new baby in the house makes it hard to get out and shop, so throwing stuff in my cart and having Prime really makes life that much easier. I mean if I am being honest, I don't like to go out and shop, so I have been shopping this way since wayyyyyy before the baby. #lazyshopper

Let's see what I bought in June... (This post does include affiliate links btw)

We have been trying REALLY hard not to buy new furniture until we buy a house next year. I purchased this H.VERSAILTEX slipcover in the pretty blue to keep things fresh (and cover the damage my cats cause from thinking the couch is a scratching post!)

I really like this cover. It was really easy to put on and the price was pretty sweet ($45.99 and Prime approved!). We bought a pretty expensive one after our wedding back in September of 2016 and this one is comparable, but it almost feels more durable. I am excited to see how it goes.


Now that I am getting more serious with my blog again (and I really like to take selfies) I decided to try out a ring light for my phone. We all know we use our phones WAY more then we want to admit when it comes to taking photos (and pretty much everything else in life). This light by QIAYA is pretty great. For $12.99 and Prime approved, it is worth the try. It has 3 different lighting options and easily clips onto your phone.
 
We drink a lot of coffee in my house and we use a Keurig. It was time to get some new reusable K-Cups, and this 4 pack from iPartsPlusMore seemed to fit the bill. Now we have 4 to use so there is no more washing each one out immediately to make the next cup of coffee. At $10.85, I call that a win, plus we are saving the environment but not throwing away all of those plastic cups.
 

 
 Last, but not least, I purchased this swaddler by Love to Dream for Baby Bloob. I came across a link for it in a group I'm in and like a million moms swear by it. It offers a design that allows your little one to have their arms up above their heads rather than swaddled at their sides. Baby Bloob does not like his arms confined and will wiggle his way out of a blanket swaddle in no time. This has been a pretty great purchase. It's lightweight too, so it doesn't overheat the little one in the summer heat.
 
 
Do you have any of those items? Do you need any of those items? They are all pretty great. No fails here which makes me happy! How often do you shop on Amazon?
 

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