The Power of Bravery

Oh Hey. Long time no talk. I am sitting here trying to process the past 2 weeks and even I haven't been able to comprehend it yet.

So here's what happened. I quit my job. Let me say that again, mostly for me.. I. Quit. My. Job.

Guys, this has been one of the scariest things I have ever done for myself.

I say for myself because I was sick. My health was failing due to the amounts of stress that was overcoming me on a daily basis. I was caring for my infant son while working 40 hours a week. Think about that for a moment. You bring your 4 month old to work with you. You have to tend to his needs PLUS tend to work needs.

Yeah. Not a pretty picture. It's not easy. Don't ever let someone who works from home and takes care of their kids let you believe it is easy. They may put up a good front, but let me tell you, it is so hard. Make sure you praise those people often and offer help whenever you can. I promise you they will be grateful.

Now I am not a quitter. I don't believe in quitting when it gets hard. But this time it was different. Not only was it hard, but my heart was not in it anymore. That is when I knew it was time to go. My heart was going in another direction.

I wanted to bond with my son, but couldn't because I was tired after tending to his needs and working. When I was done working and R got home, I handed bloob over to him and needed a break. This was not how I pictured raising my son.

I took a leap of faith and invested in me. I followed my heart on this one. And even after ending my job, the weight wasn't instantly gone like I had hoped it would be. Nope. There were are still many things I need to address within myself and my home to make that weight completely lift.

This was a start. This was me finally being brave. That brave moment lead me to another moment of heartache and stress. My cat went missing on my third day not working. My baby boy as I call him. Today is day 13 that he has been missing. I have been all over this neighborhood. I have called him. I have put up flyers. I have set traps. I am at an absolute loss on where he is.

My heart is broken and is trying to find the silver lining. Today I found the strength to write about this mess I have been in. I'm hoping for a better tomorrow. I am praying for the strength to be positive that things will finally work out.

Today is hard. Yesterday was hard. Hoping for an easier tomorrow.

Namaste my friends.

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