Questions about mental health in our world today



Turn on the TV, there’s been a shooting.

Turn on the TV, there’s been a kidnapping.

Turn on the TV, there’s been a bombing.

Turn on the TV, there’s been tragic accident.

Turn on the TV, there’s been a natural disaster.

Do I sound like a broken record yet?

You can’t turn on the television, radio, or log onto the internet without being bombarded with negative news. I am starting to wonder if this is on purpose. Are we supposed to live in fear? Is it somehow easier to do that? Does it make us stronger to live in such a world that broadcasting all the bad all the time helps us be prepared for the next bad thing?

My next thought is, how is everyone’s mental health as a whole? Are we all really holding it together? Are we cracking at the seams slowly?

Let me take you back to another time of fear and shock. Let me take you back to the first real attack here on US soil. Let me tell you what I witnessed as an 18 year old girl in her first month as a college student. A girl who was going out to make something of herself in this wonderful world. A girl who is now shaped differently then she originally planned. September 11, 2001 changed me.

I worked at a grocery store during my first semester of college. I woke up, reacted to the news of what had just happened just like any person would. I was curious. I was shocked. I was confused. But I went on to work because that is what I was supposed to do. 

I watched grown adults come and go all day in different forms of emotions. There were people who knew people who were in that city that day. There were people who were firefighters who were called to protect our small town during that scary day. There were veterans who have fought in many wars and couldn’t comprehend what had happened that day.

Fast forward a few months. Many of these same people I encountered were now on antidepressants and anxiety medications. They couldn’t shake what had happened and it made them uncomfortable. It should make them uncomfortable. There is evil in this world that exists. There are people in this world who want nothing more than to see people suffer. 

Now fast forward almost 15 years I ask myself, in a time that we all argue about mental health, and the lack of information and care available, if we are all taking care of ourselves. Are we getting the help we need to help us through these tough times? Are we taking time for ourselves?

The answer scares me, because I for one have come into contact with people who have told me they can’t afford mental health. They can’t afford to pay to speak to someone about their pain. They don't have time for themselves. Is this really okay?

In the world as we know it today, we are all exposed to so much negative. What we see today, everyday on the news is like reliving the pain we all experienced on that first shock of 9/11. We see it magnified daily with all forms of tragedy. We see people tearing each other down on their own beliefs when these events happen.

When can we get a break? Are we going to be forced to just stop turning on our tvs, radios, and computers? Is that the answer?

What do you think? Is mental health becoming more of an issue because of the negativity we are exposed to on a daily basis or is it something bigger than that?

I’d love to have a conversation with you about this in the comments. I really am interested to see how others view this topic.


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Country Chic on the Cheap

Summer is in full swing, and I can't imagine you haven't been to at least one BBQ or picnic. Maybe you have hosted a few of your own. I know for me personally, when I throw a party, I enjoy making the atmosphere enjoyable for my company. I love to go above and beyond without spending a lot of money. Today I want to show you how you can throw a country chic picnic without breaking the bank.

I work for a non-profit and we rely heavily on our volunteers to keep operations moving. This year we wanted to throw them all an amazing picnic, but being a non-profit we didn't have much to spend. This is where you can get creative. We threw a country chic picnic for 75 people and spend $0 on the decor.. no really, we did all of what I am about to show you without spending a dime.


So we started out with a pavillion at a park that looked like this:


We borrowed a whole bunch of table cloths from friends and family that had floral, plaid, or solid themes:


We went out and picked a whole bunch of wild flowers and then assembled them into some borrowed mason jars for some really pretty flower arrangements we used as center pieces:


We borrowed fun printed cloth napkins, white plastic square plates, and fun green plastic silverware:



We put everything together with mis-matched table cloths, napkins, pine cones, and then added the flower arrangements, and voila!...


Here is the finished product! We even hung some pretty lanterns someone donated from their wedding! It really made the difference!





It's amazing what a little borrowed and donated stuff can do for a party of 75. I can tell you this one little secret, people LOVE to show off their unused table cloths.
Especially if they are outdated and covered in flowers!

I am sure you know at least one person who is hoarding all the floral table tops. As long as you promise to take good care of them and wash them after, you should have no problem snatching up a few for your country chic backyard picnic!

If we could pull it off for 75 people, you can definetely pull it off in your backyard with a few of your closest friends!

What do you think? Could you pull this off?


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Solo Travel



As I was stopped at a stop sign on a country road heading to my parents house, I got a vision. It was me taking off on a road trip across the country. I could see myself driving off, hair blowing behind me as I went on my adventure.

It was obvious that the travel bug has bitten me. I'm itching to get up and go. My whole being aches for the refreshing cleanse that is travel. It's probably not helping to read travel blogs...

I want to be able to take an extended period of time off and travel. I want to see the world off the beaten path. I want to experience beautiful places you only dream about in magazines.

And I want to do it alone.

Yes I want to take a solo trip. I want to take myself out of my comfort zone. I want to experience a retreat for myself. Learn about myself. Learn to face my fears.

I want to be able to strap on a back pack of  only ehatbwhat I'll need and hit the road for a few weeks. Maybe just in my own country. But I know that won't be enough. I want to explore the earth we live on.

My travel list is growing and I need to share it with you. Sharing it will motivate me to make things happen.

So tell me, do you have the travel itch? Where have you traveled and where would you recommend I go?

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Making Sunshine on a Monday!


Happy Monday beautiful souls! Today I wanted to do something I have been meaning to start, but due to my intense waves of emotions the last few weeks, it just didn't happen! Today I want to announce my first Random Act of Kindness winner!

Back in May when the blog turned 2, I announced I was changing some of the structure here. I wanted to give back and help as many people as I could through this blog. Whether it be by helpful posts or showing my appreciation with a small gift.

So today I wanted to make someone's Monday by sending them a small gift just because. The very first recipient is.... Christine from Christine Everyday!

Christine is a blogger I "met" back early on in my blogging career. She has been super supportive of my blog and always knows how to cheer me up when I have a bad day. Thank you Christine for being a great person!

Now, are you wondering how to get a Random Act of Kindness from me? It's pretty easy actually. You just need to interact with me on this blog and social media. I can't see how wonderful you are if you don't make yourself known to me! You also don't have to be a blogger to be chosen!

The only thing I ask from you in return if you are chosen is, to pay it forward! Brighten someone's day somehow then tag me so I can see what you did!

As always, I appreciate each and every one of you. No matter how slow I am at getting back to people, know it's not because I don't care. I promise it's not that!

Have a great Monday!


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Someone's celebrating a birthday..

Today is a very special day! My baby kitty Grace turns 1! I am so happy to have her in my life and even more excited to know her birth date so I can celebrate it. It has been 6 wonderful months, so today I thought it would be fun to post some things about her. Celebrate her!


All About Grace:

Nicknames: Gracie, Gracelina, Grayson

Favorite toys: Bird and Squirrel (her stuffed friends) and her yoga mat! Yes she has a yoga mat and she might be getting a new one for her birthday.. (Yep I'm a crazy cat lady)


Personality: Playful, yet bossy. She loves to play, snuggle, and be silly, but once she's had enough she will give you that warning swat. 

When Grace isn't sleeping she is either meowing at every reflection on the walls or literally bouncing off the walls chasing them.

Over the past week, Grace has taken a like to new foods. She must inspect everything we have. She must feel herself getting older, so trying all the foods is on her bucket list. She has always been a picky eater and would only eat her kibble and some forms of chicken. Now she wants all the ice cream!

Grace really loves her new brother Rick. She has accepted him into our family and can be found wrestling with him or snuggling up with him at night. Two peas in a pod.


Grace loves her humans. She enjoys laying in between R and I, making sure she is touching both of us. Melts my heart every time. She loves her individual attention.

Grace has brought so much love into our home. She is the sweetest little soul. I can't imagine my life without her.


Happy Birthday my little Grace!

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Be brave

Life will anger you.

Life will excite you.

Life will chew you up and spit yout out.

Life will pick you up when you are weak.

Life will break you down.

Life will make you smile.

Life will make you hurt.

Life will bring tears of joy.

Life will make you sorry.

Life will make you thankful.

Life will make you question everything you know.

Do you accept the challenge?

All you can do is be brave.




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July Goals 2016


I am not even sure I really had any June goals at this point. If I did, I think they changed a lot. I was mourning. I was grieving. I was finding a new part of myself that needed to come forward. Because I learned a hard lesson in June, it also reminded me once again, that I need to take care of myself. I looked back at my July goals from last year and it was to have fun. I remember it not being very fun due to some, I guess drama? Things have slowly gotten to a better place, but still so much to learn. 

July’s goals are going to be half about fun and half about me. I had lunch with a friend this week who reminded me that fun can also be about us. Something we enjoy alone without others involved. I know that sounds a little off, but I think she is right. She told me she planned one thing a week for self care for herself for the whole summer. It took some time to get put together, but she said it’s worth it now that it’s all done and planned. 

Now that we have made it through the first half of the year, July feels like a turning point to me. Getting back on track for the rest of the year. I have put a lot of thought into what I want to work towards this month. Hopefully it can inspire me more. Get me out of the rut I feel like I fell back into. 

Schedule “Me” time
I really loved the idea of putting one thing a week on the books for me and self care. Because it is Summer, and life gets busy, I decided to skip the next 7 week yoga course that I have been participating in since March. At the time I thought it was a good idea. Now I am thinking it may have been a bad decision. I miss it, and it kept me motivated. I am going to spend the next few days putting stuff into my planner and getting myself back into the groove of fun for me. 

Read, Write, and Color
Back in February I challenged myself to write every day. I didn’t end up writing every day, but I came pretty close. I have fallen off that train again, so it’s time to get back on. I also want to pick up my reading, which I have done fairly well with over the past few weeks, but need to do a little better. Lastly I want to dig into some of my coloring items I got for Christmas. 

Blog
I have been working on a lot of projects outside of the blog. I want to bring some of those to life on the blog and also continue the re-vamping I had planned for June. I want to start implementing my Random Acts of Kindness series as well as my stepmom posts. I owe some giveaway prizes as well. I promise I have not forgotten.. 

Find my Tribe
I have a few blogging buddies, but to be honest, with my inconsistency I have really lost the bond I used to have. I want to strengthen that again and get back into the support group. I really enjoyed having blogger friends. I want that back. Making it a goal!

I’m really hoping to reach all of these goals this month, although some may stay ongoing, because I want to feel like this space matters again. I want to know I matter again. The first person I need to persuade is myself. 

Here’s to a month of fun and me time! What are your goals?



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Let's talk subscription boxes

It's not secret that people love their subscription boxes. You can find a subscription box for just about anything these days. Anything from beauty to fashion to cats, dogs, and chickens. Yes I said chickens. There are niches out there that are so specific, you probably never thought they would work. 


Because there are so many its nearly impossible to try them all. Today I want to talk about the boxes I really, really want to try, but have to hold off until wedding stuff is behind us.. And I'm not talking specifically about the huge boxes like Ipsy and Popsugar Must Have, I'm talking about some of the smaller boxes that have popped up. Let me quit rambling and list them off.

Covert Crate: This is a lifestyle subscription box for professional women. It is delivered bimonthly and has 2 options; Girl Boss and Lady Girl Boss. Its quite pricey with pricing starting at $54.95 for the Girl Boss and $94.95 for the Lady Girl Boss but they seem so fun! The box promises to deliver office supplies, style accessories, office snacks, books, and other items to help and inspire the professional woman.

Lit Cube: Because hello, they have a Stars Hollow box! Who doesn't want a box curated with Gilmore Girls swag?! That is not all this box is about thought. They are a monthly reading box with handpicked books with a variety of genres. It is $34.95 a month. I have been eyeing this one for awhile now. Darn you no spending year due to wedding..

Lavish Bath Box: Who doesn't love a box full of bath goodies? I really love how this box has themes and some pretty great products to try. All of the products are vegan and handmade. I really would love a box like this the night before my wedding for me and my girls. So relaxing and luxurious. Ohh the wheels are turning! The box is $38.95 a month. Not bad..

calmbox: I love this box concept. It is for people who need some inner peace and care. There are things like candles, tea, and meditative items. Nothing I love more than a relaxation box! The box is $35 a month which I think is a bargain for relaxation. Am I right? I will most certainly be subscribing to this one next year!

The Kind Step: This is a new box that I am curating for stepmoms! I am so excited to share this with all of you. I have searched high and low for a box like this for myself. When I couldn't find one, I decided to live my own dream and start one! It is super niche, I get that, but it is a  niche I have a hard time finding out there. There are new mom products, mommy boxes, and everything in between, but nothing to help out a stepmom. You can expect this box to have both self care items as well as tips and advice to stepmoms from stepmoms.

I hope The Kind Step will be on your wish list this fall when we officially launch! In the meantime, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to get up to date info and motivation! A sneak peak is coming soon.. but to which account, I will not tell :)



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Weekly goals are built on dreams

Mondays are for dreamers right? Okay, maybe not for everyone, but when you're working on your dreams, everyday seems pretty magical.


I'm FINALLY ready to share my dream that's becoming a reality. For about 2 years now I have been dreaming of starting my own business. But not just any business, a subscription box business!

I may have hinted about this in the past, but couldn't decide on a concept that worked for me. A few months ago I was sitting in my car waiting for the rain to stop when the idea came to me. It was like a light went on and everything was super clear.

I am happy to announce The Kind Step Box; a self care subscription box curated for stepmoms. Now you nay wonder why I chose that niche, but if you read my post on becoming a stepmom you will understand.

I believe self care is the best medicine for dealing with stressful situations and for anyone who is a step parent, you understand the challenges that come with being in that role.

I am in the pre-launch stage and am hoping to send out my first box this fall! Right now I am working on collecting e-mails of interested people. I invite you to sign up if you or someone you know would benefit from the box. I am working with some really amazing women to bring some pretty great items to the first box. I want this box to not only offer support for self care, but some sassy, fun items as well. Let's be honest, we all need a good laugh from time to time.

I am hoping to have a sample box put together soon so everyone can see what to expect. In the meantime it would be really amazing of you guys to sign up for my updates. I am planning to start doing weekly updates soon!

You can find updates and enter your email here: The Kind Step Subscription Box

Thank you again, and I hope you all have a wonderful week!

PS: Lets all cross our fingers that I get my wedding invites out this week.. It's on the goal list.. 


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Becoming a Stepmother

I have been wanting to write this post for a long time now. It has been one of those things that I have written over and over again and it never seems right. When I started working on a new concept and direction with this blog, I talked about starting a discussion for people who were stepmoms (or stepdads!). A place for support and advice.


When R and I started dating almost 4 years ago, I knew he had children. I had always told myself I would not date a man with children, because I did not have children of my own and was not sure I was ready for that. But life had a different plan for me. We fell in love and wanted a life together. Even with all of the struggles and heartache I have experienced through the process, I truly believe R is the man I am supposed to be with.

We moved in together last May and I was on my journey to becoming a stepmom. With a wedding coming up in September, there have been many trials and tribulations that have put lots of stress on our little family. I have had my ups and downs, but I am learning how to work through the hard times day by day. I used to allow the blame to be put on me, now I know it's not all my fault. I am apart of something that may still hurt some of the parties involved, but I am not the cause of the initial hurt if that makes sense.

Any person who has stepped into a role as a parent to a child who is not biologically theirs, knows how tough the situation can be at times. You do not only have to worry about the child(ren), but all of the other persons who are apart of the child's life. Because each situation is different, there are no real guidelines to follow, but you should know that you should never feel like it is always your fault when things go wrong. It took me a long time to realize this.

Everyone is getting used to the changes and for some, the separation of their family members is still very fresh in their minds. I would like to believe these emotions come out of their own grief and mourning of what was, and what is no longer. I want to stress that everyone involved is experiencing some form of emotion.

The road can be very challenging, yet so rewarding when you start to form a bond with your stepchildren. There are going to be times when you feel the love and times when you feel like a complete outsider. The most important thing to remember is to allow the child to move at their own pace, but remind them to be respectful in the process. It is also important that the adults around them are also respectful and positive  in this stage.

We are all human, and emotions will get in  the way sometimes, but as I have learned, staying positive and stepping away when things get heated are the best actions. It will be much easier to navigate when both parties have cooled down. This is where I have started paying attention to self care. 

Self care is so important in these situations. Life can be very stressful on a normal day, and blending  a family will have moments where the stresses can double. You could come home from a stressful work day to find children who are also stressed out, and that can be hard if you can't offer them any relief because you are "not their mom". It happens. It sometimes hurts to be pushed out.

This is when I remember it's going to be okay. I remember that I can take some time for me. It's allowed and it's essential. Self care is so important for everyone. Even taking 15 minutes a day for yourself is effective. It will make you happier. It will remind you, that even in the hard moments, you are still you. You are reminded that you still have hobbies and interests to escape to during those hard times.

Today I feel like I am in a much better place than  I was even 6 months ago. I am taking time for myself and building better relationships. I am doing my part to make sure I am being positive, yet  not allowing myself to get lost in the shuffle. I speak up when  it's necessary and step away when needed. I take responsibility for my own actions, and that is really all I can do. I can't force anyone else to act a specific way. I can't make these things happen alone.

I am looking forward to what the future holds for me. Looking forward to seeing where this journey is taking me. My journey to becoming a stepmom.

Are you a step parent? What are your experiences?



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Beyond Blessed

I want to thank everyone who have offered me support and kind words over the past few weeks. I am beyond grateful. I have been working endlessly to improve this space bit by bit and when life gets in the way, I want you all to know, even if my presence isn't seen here on the web, I am always striving to make this work. Make things better. 

Over the past few months I have had a vision of what I really want for this space and what I want for my life. Dreams, ideas, goals, all in once place. All finally aligning. I have never been one to believe that good things come easy. They all take time, dedication, focus, and support. 

There are days I run myself ragged trying to get it all done. I work a 9-5. I run home to work on this blog or on my side project which seems to be taking up a BIG chunk of my time. Through all this I have also dealt with life events and stress. I have looked in the mirror and not recognized myself because I feel like I have aged. Aged more than I should have in just a short year.

It is time for me to allow myself time. I need time for me. A part of my vision is making a space that is user friendly, for both me and you. I may never have a viral post or 10,000 views a day, but I am okay with that. I know blogging isn't my calling in life. It's a hobby. It's a place I can come to learn and to educate when I can. 

Moving forward I am going to implement an easier workload for me, while still working to bring great content for you. I am going to take 1 or 2 nights a week to read and comment on all of your blogs. I know I can't commit to everyday, so I don't want to put out false hope. I will continue to keep a Monday-Wednesday-Friday blog schedule. I will work on responding to blogs and emails within 48 hours. 

I also want to spend some more time on my newsletter. I really enjoyed putting together my first one that went out on Friday. I loved hearing responses from the ladies who received it. Makes me excited for the next one. If you are not signed up, you can do so here.

I will try this all for a few months and re-evaluate. See how it goes. I can't wait to see how this goes and again, I want to thank you all for sticking with me and encouraging me all along the way!

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The world is evil sometimes

I don’t normally write about politics, religion, or major news, but this weekend I had a moment where I wanted to break down. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs “WHY?” With so many heartbreaking events happening over the past week plus dealing with my own heartbreaking event, I'm exhausted over my emotions.

I used to think the statement “I don’t feel like adulting today” was cute. I am even guilty of using the phrase myself. But now more and more I feel like the less we want to “Adult” the less we want to “Humanity”. The sad truth is we live in a very selfish, entitled, and unsympathetic world. People are more inclined to turn a cheek the other way than to reach out to help their fellow man. I am not saying EVERYONE is like this, but it happens more than it should.

On Friday I had a spiritual reading. One of the things that stood out to the reader is I have a very bright light in me. I still have faith in humanity, but am slowly breaking. This really opened my eyes wider to all of the ugly in the world today. My heart and soul hurts at every report of man hurting man. At the end of the day, we are ALL human. Why must the world harbor so much hate?

What do we have if we scratch out religion, race, sexual orientation, and entitlement? We have what everyone else has.

Feet. Legs. Arms. Hands. Fingers. A brain. A heart. A body.

We are a vessel that carries organs to keep us alive. We breathe the same air to keep us alive. We eat food to keep us alive.

I don't think I have ever looked at a person and judged them because they were different then me. I may have been curious. I may have not agreed with something they were doing, but over never judged a person strictly for their race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Why?

For starters they weren't doing anything to hurt me. And if they were, I had a problem with them, NOT their whole race/religion/orientation.

I don't want to continue to rant on about  this, but the point is, when will we learn that loving one another looks so much better than all of this hate and ugliness?

Can we teach our children to think differently? To look at each person as an individual who can make their own thoughts and decisions?

I sure hope so. Humanity needs it.

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Bare with me..

Happy Breakfast for a Happy Monday!
I had a post scheduled today but with some thought I wanted to work on it a bit more. I am planning to have it up tomorrow.

Thank you for your patience and have a wonderful Monday!

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Coping with Traumatic Events

When a traumatic event strikes, we want to recoil into a safe place. Hide from the world to heal and grieve. While this seems like a good idea, hiding for to long can actually slow the grieving period and the healing can be prolonged.

If the mind is grieving, let it grieve, but also challenge yourself with positive things. Allow yourself take steps to feel better. This is not a selfish act, but a form of self care that is necessary for your mental health.

Allow yourself to smile if you want to smile. Allow yourself to laugh if you find something funny. Surround yourself with friends and family to be comforted.

It may be easier to push people away during this period, but easy never makes things better quickly. Allow the comfort and the support. It's good for the soul and can really help with moving forward.

There will be really, really hard days where you won't want to get out of bed. There will be really easy days where everything seems to go smoothly. This is normal. It's all part of the process.

Traumatic events will never leave your thoughts, but they won't consume your life if you cope with them straight away. I will always be sad about what happened to my nephew, but I also know he would not want me to live a life of sadness.

Remind yourself that you are worth it daily. Fight though the hard times and live a life you and all of your loved ones would be proud of.

You got this.

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It's so hard to say goodbye

As I sit down to write this, there are tears in my eyes. Today is going to be one of the hardest days I have ever experienced. I will come together with family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to celebrate the life of my nephew who we lost suddenly on Monday. A precious little soul who was taken way to soon. He got 28 days on this earth.

28 days.

That is not enough time. He never got a chance to see the world. His family only got 28 precious days with their baby boy.

He left this earth way to soon. He also left a gaping hole in so many hearts. Mine included. I never got to meet my nephew before he left us.

That leaves me with so many emotions. Some of which could of been avoided if things were different.

I am angry.

I am upset.

I am worried.

I have guilt. 

I feel regret.

I am angry with the spirits for needing this little boy so soon. Why do that to a parent? Why change a life so drastically that it makes it nearly impossible to be the same person again?

I have always been skeptical in finding a faith and believing in God, and today as I sit here dreading what has to be, I am no more closer to finding that peace.

Why must the first time I meet my nephew, be at a time where time has run out and I will never get that chance to hold him in my arms? I will never get the chance to see him smile or let him know how much I love him.

Life is so cruel sometimes. We forget day to day that life is precious and no one is promised a tomorrow. We spend so much time hiding from our problems and insecurities that relationships become strained.

I have so much regret today. If things could of been different, maybe I would have met my nephew. Maybe there wouldn't be an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe I would walk into this differently.

It is never a good feeling to lose a loved one. Absolutely fucking heart wrenching to lost a 28 day old innocent baby.

May he rest peacefully and watch over all of us and remind us to make better choices. He may have only been here for a very short time, but he has taught me so much this past week.

Please keep my family in your prayers as we all try to move forward. It has changed me so much already, I can't even imagine how much it will change his parents.

I need strength today.


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Quick update- Hiatus

Hi fellow readers. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I will be taking a short hiatus. Due to a tragic accident in my family, I need to take some time away to be with family and process this event.

I know I just made a commitment to be more present here on the blog, but this unexpected event takes priority right now.

Please keep my family in your pryers and I am hoping to be back soon.

Thank you for all of your support.

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