I was always a shy person. I never had a lot of opinions because I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings or say the wrong thing to embarrass myself. I come from a military family so it was easy to get talked over or pushed aside when I was at home. This is not to say that my parents weren't loving, this is not what I am getting at.

As I got older I would never question people, or get upset if someone talked over me when I was trying to speak. It felt like it was okay for these things to happen, because they must know more than me. They must be smarter than me. They probably are better liked than me. I always had a good reason in my head why it was okay for these things to happen.

Today, I know this is not okay. It is never right for someone to make you feel like you are less than you are. Bad circumstances unleash the person in you who needs to fight. Sometimes these circumstances make you realize you deserve to have respect and a voice. This is one of the reasons I got into blogging. I wanted a voice. I wanted to be able to talk to the world and hope someone, somewhere understood me. They learned something from me. Anything. As long as it reached someone. I was content.


I only have one issue with the progress I have made over the past 2 years. I am more confident in speaking up, but I have also noticed I am always ready to point out my flaws to people. I haven't decided if this is a defense mechanism or a way to feel protected. Am I trying to tackle the "bad" before someone else points it out? Or do I want to be able to have an opinion without looking like a complete jerk. If I say first, "I need to lose weight, I feel huge", is it okay for me to tell someone they should start working out?

Now I have not come out and told a complete stranger something negative about themselves after I pointed out negative things about myself, but I tend to wonder if I could do that. I don't want to be that person who makes someone else feel bad about themselves because I feel bad about me. Now that I have the speaking up thing down, I suppose it is time for me to start being more positive about myself. Then I can use this "mechanism" that I am latched onto at the moment to make people feel good about themselves too.

The human mind is such a crazy adventure sometimes. It really can make you stop and think about your behavior and how your portray yourself. (Kind of an oxymoron). It just makes me wonder why I chose to be outspoken but in a more negative direction. This is where I need to tell myself: Be positive. Keep working towards the wellness goals! This is both physical and mental wellness. A healthy mind and a healthy body can really bring you to peace. I've been working on getting a sound mind, and I think people forget that part when working on total wellness. Don't forget your mind.


Just a little ramble today. I hope this somehow inspired someone or got you to think. I just wanted to sit and write, and this is what came out. A writing exercise became a blog post. My mind sound a little less loud now that some of it got written down. Have a great day everyone.