I can see this pattern in myself just by looking at my past blog posts. When I first starting blogging I did it for me. I had a purpose to start. I had never really read a blog in my life. Not one I followed regularly at least. I started my blog as a way to showcase something I had interest in. It was the right reason to start a blog in my eyes.
As time went on I could see the changes I had made. They stuck out like a sore thumb. I had jumped on one trend or another to stay in the game. I made the decision that I wanted to be popular. I wanted thousands and thousands of people to read my blog daily.
In reality when I started doing what everyone else was doing, my blog didn't do as well. I didn't see the numbers as I had when I was writing with my purpose. I didn't see many comments. The traffic was slowing dramatically. This was not what I had envisioned when I decided to up my game.
But was I really upping my game? Why didn't I feel empowered? I thought I was writing what everyone wanted to read. Then it hit me. I had focused on what everyone else was doing that I was not putting any heart or purpose into what I was writing. I didn't find much enthusiasm in my writing anymore. I was even bored reading some of my posts.
When I look back at 2015, it was when I really started making some of these changes. I also recognize 2015 as a shitty year as a whole at the moment. I realize now that there was a lot of transition going on in my life. A lot of change. It makes things rough. They always say hindsight is 20/20 right? I can see it all clearly now.
I have decided I need to make changes again. But this time the changes are to fit more comfortably in my life currently. I want to be able to find the me I am meant to be rather than continue to look back at the person I was 5 years ago or even 10 years ago. We need to all learn to live in the present and make things better moving forward, rather than continuing to look back.
Be a better person. Be a better blogger. Find the you. you want to be.