You know those nights where you're so tired yet you can't sleep? Well I'm having on of those, except with writing. I have so much on my mind and don't know where to begin.  A fully loaded mind can be a dangerous mind as they say.

We all have our motivations or things that spark a good post. For me, I tend to get my best writing done when I'm angry. My real emotions seep up and I put passion into anything I am doing. My house also looks amazing after I've been angry. I clean like a mad woman to calm myself down.

Today I woke up in a fairly decent mood and quickly went south with a short conversation. I got angry; but a different kind of angry. It was the anger that has been held for a long time. Something I have been wanting to say. The passion in me flared.

Letting go of some of the prolonged anger really can turn a mood around. It can make the weight on your shoulders release. It can remind you that that fully loaded gun, we call our over thinking mind won't go off unexpectedly.

It may not always make everyone else around you feel the same, but at the end of the day, we must remember, we matter first.

Chew on that.

Happy Friday! I just dragged my butt up out of bed early and headed to the gym. I call that a win already for a Friday? Now can I go home?

Fat chance. Anywho this is just a quick "hello, how ya doing" kind of post. I don't have much to report today other than I am still sticking to my new workout plan and eating better. That alone is a huge accomplishment for me. The pants are starting to feel loose. High five to myself!

Also I just started a new book; A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. I am OBSESSED! It was a little slow moving at the beginning for my tastes but now that I kept at it, I'm very pleased. This is book 1 in a trilogy so I am really excited to read the other two books. Have you read it?

Lastly I am headed to NYC this weekend with R and meeting up with my cousin and her fiance. Should be a nice quick weekend getaway. The weather is going to be a little chillier than I had hoped but as of now Saturday is supposed to be 45 and sunny. I'll take it. It could totally be 0 and snowing.

Well that's about it for me. I hope you all have a great weekend! 

So wedding.. yeah.. let's talk about that today (Oh and the winner of my flash giveaway..). It's been awhile and as much as I want to say I have it all done and I just forgot to post, that would be a lie. I have seriously slacked over the past few months, and I wish I didn't. I have seriously kicked some butt in the past week at getting myself into a better place with planning, but I wish I didn't slack as much as I did.. See exhibit A:

On Saturday R and I met with our venue coordinator. We were there to set our menu, pick out the beverages (We are getting married at a winery so this is kind of important), and talk logistics. John, our coordinator and chef started asking us questions like:

"Who is your photographer?" Uhhhhhh

"Do you have a DJ?" Does my iPod count?

"Have you decided on a cake?" Well we have some appointments set up...

"What about flowers? Will you have them on the tables?" Oh shit flowers?! Forgot about those..

Welp John, let me just respond with, we are totally unprepared for this meeting, so uh yeah sorry?

Thankfully John was very understanding and told us we have nothing to worry about. Everything will work out. Right?

So, let's look at the things I have gotten done:

Wedding dress - Check!
Venue - Check!
Bridesmaid dresses - Check!
Photographer - Check! (This one JUST happened)
Save the dates - Check! (They even got mailed!)

So as far as the cake goes, we have 2 appointments set, so I am not very worried about that. Our new photographer has some calls in to a few DJs that he is familiar with so hopefully that works out. I am still very unsure on what I really want with flowers, but none the less I should probably make a few calls.

There is still plenty to do, but I feel a little better having all those bugger items crossed off my list. I have learned my lesson along the way in not procrastinating any further in this process or something may not work out in my favor.

Do you have any advice to keep the ball rolling for this wedding planning stuff? I'd love to know in the comments below!

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So yeah I did a quick flash giveaway.. Not as much response as I would have hoped but none the less..  I asked you which of my tax return wish list items I bought with my money.

There were only a couple of entries and MOST of you guessed right. I bought myself a new laptop! It was on like a super sale so I still saved a ton of money, which makes me happy. I am going to put the rest of my money towards my wedding. Yay to all of you for participating!

The winner is: Nicole M! Hopefully this $20 of your choice can go towards your new laptop as well!

Yay! We made it back to Daylight Savings Time! Did everyone survive losing that 1 hour of sleep last night? I promise, even though it is rough today, it is worth it to come home from work and still have a few hours of light everyday. Anywho, today I wanted to give you a quick weekly update.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do with my life currently. We all have those dreams. Some are more long term and some pop up at specific times in your life. For me the signs keep pointing to yes lately with one of my dreams.

On Tuesday I got my tax refund money so I decided to write a list of useful things to spend your return on. You might be surprised of things out there that you can spend your money on that won't feel like an impulse buy. I even surprised myself a little.

I have been keeping with my goal of working out 6 days a week. I went to the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I went to my yoga class on Thursday. Saturday I walked 5 miles at the outdoor outlets, and today I am headed out for a hike. It makes me feel so much better about myself when I keep active.

On Thursday in my yoga class I had a revelation. We were learning about the Humble Warrior and how it reminds us about humility. I have been having a tough time with my feelings lately. This pose reminded me that I need to take a step back in tough situations in order to protect myself and clear my head. The class was amazing. I felt so full of life and energetic.

On Saturday R and I met with our wedding coordinator and chef at our venue. We set our menu and went over some logistics. And of course there was some wine. Okay maybe a lot of wine. Perks of getting married at a winery. I feel really good about all of our decisions. Our wedding is going to be a great time for all who attend.

We headed from the winery to the outlets where I really enjoy shopping end of season sales at amazing discounts. I left with 4 new sweaters and a pair of sneakers for under $60. Can't beat that at all.

Now let me get back to my list of things to spend your refund on. I sent out a tweet on Friday about a possible giveaway coming.. this is going to be a flash giveaway of sorts.. I ended up fulfilling one of these ideas on Wednesday. I purchased something for me...

Flash Giveaway Rules

It's that time of year again. You know the time where you either owe the IRS or you get back a nice refund? I know very little people who meet somewhere in the middle. I am one of those people who doesn't see the point in breaking even and God forbid I have to pay, so I always receive a refund.

Now with that being said, I normally am a saver. I put the money in the bank for a rainy day. With my past experiences in life and crazy stuff always coming up out of nowhere, this has always been very helpful. I have emergency money. Something a lot of people can't say they have.

Now taking that one step further, this also means I have never used the money to take that big vacation I see so many people take or buy that new 90 inch flat screen tv that always seems to make its way onto Facebook in that obligatory, "Look what we just bought" photo.

This year I think it's going to be a tad bit different. Not that I am going to go out and buy a 90 inch tv or take that large vacation, but this year has significance. This will be my last year of filing taxes as a single individual. I am going to get married in September, so next year will be a whole new ball game. Now with that being said, I have compiled a list of the top 10 things I would buy with my tax money if I ever let the fear of spending it go away... (These are individual ideas, I would not purchase all of this with my return, as I do not receive a large enough return to purchase all 10 items.. wah)

1. A new laptop. My current laptop is considered a dinosaur at this point. Not as old as one would think, but it has definitely slowed down over the years and doing normal day to do things can be a hassle.

2. A spring wardrobe. I feel like I never buy myself new clothes. Not because I don't like to buy new things, but I have the hardest time finding things I life in a price range I can afford. I like to leave a store with multiple items for under a certain amount of money. Using tax money might help me get over that a little bit.

3,  A year membership to a fancy gym in my neighborhood. This is a place I cannot afford to pay a monthly fee for currently, but if I could pay for the year up front this would be golden. I mean there is a pool guys..

4. A new bed. Now yes this would be shared with R, but it is something we have been talking about. My last new bed was a hand me down from someone else, and the bed we currently sleep in is over a decade old. It is time for a new bed.

5. Speaking of beds, I have always wanted a really nice sound machine for sleeping. I have a hard time sleeping most nights and R's snoring does not help. Having a nice soothing sound machine would do the trick, or so I hope..

6. A book shopping spree. Let's face it, books are expensive, but nothing pleases me more than browsing a book store. I could leave with more than I need and spend a fortune, but going in there knowing I can spend some money would be so blissful.

7. I would get my car detailed. It's been winter here in the north and my poor black car is pretty white from salt. My car already has a rust issue from its previous owner, so getting it cleaned inside and out professionally would be a great help.

8. Take a class. I am always up for learning something new. Now that Spring is in the air and I actually want to leave my house, taking a weekly class would be fun.

9. Put it towards something for the wedding. As much as I find this option lower on my list, I do know it would be helpful to use some of the money for an expense related to the wedding.

10. Maybe I will just put it back in the bank and hold on to it.. probably not the best idea but it still has crossed my mind just in case.

What do you plan to do with your tax money? Are you a saver like me or does the money burn a hole in your pocket as soon as you get it?