Beyond Blessed

I want to thank everyone who have offered me support and kind words over the past few weeks. I am beyond grateful. I have been working endlessly to improve this space bit by bit and when life gets in the way, I want you all to know, even if my presence isn't seen here on the web, I am always striving to make this work. Make things better. 

Over the past few months I have had a vision of what I really want for this space and what I want for my life. Dreams, ideas, goals, all in once place. All finally aligning. I have never been one to believe that good things come easy. They all take time, dedication, focus, and support. 

There are days I run myself ragged trying to get it all done. I work a 9-5. I run home to work on this blog or on my side project which seems to be taking up a BIG chunk of my time. Through all this I have also dealt with life events and stress. I have looked in the mirror and not recognized myself because I feel like I have aged. Aged more than I should have in just a short year.

It is time for me to allow myself time. I need time for me. A part of my vision is making a space that is user friendly, for both me and you. I may never have a viral post or 10,000 views a day, but I am okay with that. I know blogging isn't my calling in life. It's a hobby. It's a place I can come to learn and to educate when I can. 

Moving forward I am going to implement an easier workload for me, while still working to bring great content for you. I am going to take 1 or 2 nights a week to read and comment on all of your blogs. I know I can't commit to everyday, so I don't want to put out false hope. I will continue to keep a Monday-Wednesday-Friday blog schedule. I will work on responding to blogs and emails within 48 hours. 

I also want to spend some more time on my newsletter. I really enjoyed putting together my first one that went out on Friday. I loved hearing responses from the ladies who received it. Makes me excited for the next one. If you are not signed up, you can do so here.

I will try this all for a few months and re-evaluate. See how it goes. I can't wait to see how this goes and again, I want to thank you all for sticking with me and encouraging me all along the way!

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The world is evil sometimes

I don’t normally write about politics, religion, or major news, but this weekend I had a moment where I wanted to break down. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs “WHY?” With so many heartbreaking events happening over the past week plus dealing with my own heartbreaking event, I'm exhausted over my emotions.

I used to think the statement “I don’t feel like adulting today” was cute. I am even guilty of using the phrase myself. But now more and more I feel like the less we want to “Adult” the less we want to “Humanity”. The sad truth is we live in a very selfish, entitled, and unsympathetic world. People are more inclined to turn a cheek the other way than to reach out to help their fellow man. I am not saying EVERYONE is like this, but it happens more than it should.

On Friday I had a spiritual reading. One of the things that stood out to the reader is I have a very bright light in me. I still have faith in humanity, but am slowly breaking. This really opened my eyes wider to all of the ugly in the world today. My heart and soul hurts at every report of man hurting man. At the end of the day, we are ALL human. Why must the world harbor so much hate?

What do we have if we scratch out religion, race, sexual orientation, and entitlement? We have what everyone else has.

Feet. Legs. Arms. Hands. Fingers. A brain. A heart. A body.

We are a vessel that carries organs to keep us alive. We breathe the same air to keep us alive. We eat food to keep us alive.

I don't think I have ever looked at a person and judged them because they were different then me. I may have been curious. I may have not agreed with something they were doing, but over never judged a person strictly for their race, religion, or sexual orientation.

Why?

For starters they weren't doing anything to hurt me. And if they were, I had a problem with them, NOT their whole race/religion/orientation.

I don't want to continue to rant on about  this, but the point is, when will we learn that loving one another looks so much better than all of this hate and ugliness?

Can we teach our children to think differently? To look at each person as an individual who can make their own thoughts and decisions?

I sure hope so. Humanity needs it.

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Bare with me..

Happy Breakfast for a Happy Monday!
I had a post scheduled today but with some thought I wanted to work on it a bit more. I am planning to have it up tomorrow.

Thank you for your patience and have a wonderful Monday!

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Coping with Traumatic Events

When a traumatic event strikes, we want to recoil into a safe place. Hide from the world to heal and grieve. While this seems like a good idea, hiding for to long can actually slow the grieving period and the healing can be prolonged.

If the mind is grieving, let it grieve, but also challenge yourself with positive things. Allow yourself take steps to feel better. This is not a selfish act, but a form of self care that is necessary for your mental health.

Allow yourself to smile if you want to smile. Allow yourself to laugh if you find something funny. Surround yourself with friends and family to be comforted.

It may be easier to push people away during this period, but easy never makes things better quickly. Allow the comfort and the support. It's good for the soul and can really help with moving forward.

There will be really, really hard days where you won't want to get out of bed. There will be really easy days where everything seems to go smoothly. This is normal. It's all part of the process.

Traumatic events will never leave your thoughts, but they won't consume your life if you cope with them straight away. I will always be sad about what happened to my nephew, but I also know he would not want me to live a life of sadness.

Remind yourself that you are worth it daily. Fight though the hard times and live a life you and all of your loved ones would be proud of.

You got this.

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It's so hard to say goodbye

As I sit down to write this, there are tears in my eyes. Today is going to be one of the hardest days I have ever experienced. I will come together with family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to celebrate the life of my nephew who we lost suddenly on Monday. A precious little soul who was taken way to soon. He got 28 days on this earth.

28 days.

That is not enough time. He never got a chance to see the world. His family only got 28 precious days with their baby boy.

He left this earth way to soon. He also left a gaping hole in so many hearts. Mine included. I never got to meet my nephew before he left us.

That leaves me with so many emotions. Some of which could of been avoided if things were different.

I am angry.

I am upset.

I am worried.

I have guilt. 

I feel regret.

I am angry with the spirits for needing this little boy so soon. Why do that to a parent? Why change a life so drastically that it makes it nearly impossible to be the same person again?

I have always been skeptical in finding a faith and believing in God, and today as I sit here dreading what has to be, I am no more closer to finding that peace.

Why must the first time I meet my nephew, be at a time where time has run out and I will never get that chance to hold him in my arms? I will never get the chance to see him smile or let him know how much I love him.

Life is so cruel sometimes. We forget day to day that life is precious and no one is promised a tomorrow. We spend so much time hiding from our problems and insecurities that relationships become strained.

I have so much regret today. If things could of been different, maybe I would have met my nephew. Maybe there wouldn't be an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe I would walk into this differently.

It is never a good feeling to lose a loved one. Absolutely fucking heart wrenching to lost a 28 day old innocent baby.

May he rest peacefully and watch over all of us and remind us to make better choices. He may have only been here for a very short time, but he has taught me so much this past week.

Please keep my family in your prayers as we all try to move forward. It has changed me so much already, I can't even imagine how much it will change his parents.

I need strength today.


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