It's so hard to say goodbye

As I sit down to write this, there are tears in my eyes. Today is going to be one of the hardest days I have ever experienced. I will come together with family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to celebrate the life of my nephew who we lost suddenly on Monday. A precious little soul who was taken way to soon. He got 28 days on this earth.

28 days.

That is not enough time. He never got a chance to see the world. His family only got 28 precious days with their baby boy.

He left this earth way to soon. He also left a gaping hole in so many hearts. Mine included. I never got to meet my nephew before he left us.

That leaves me with so many emotions. Some of which could of been avoided if things were different.

I am angry.

I am upset.

I am worried.

I have guilt. 

I feel regret.

I am angry with the spirits for needing this little boy so soon. Why do that to a parent? Why change a life so drastically that it makes it nearly impossible to be the same person again?

I have always been skeptical in finding a faith and believing in God, and today as I sit here dreading what has to be, I am no more closer to finding that peace.

Why must the first time I meet my nephew, be at a time where time has run out and I will never get that chance to hold him in my arms? I will never get the chance to see him smile or let him know how much I love him.

Life is so cruel sometimes. We forget day to day that life is precious and no one is promised a tomorrow. We spend so much time hiding from our problems and insecurities that relationships become strained.

I have so much regret today. If things could of been different, maybe I would have met my nephew. Maybe there wouldn't be an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe I would walk into this differently.

It is never a good feeling to lose a loved one. Absolutely fucking heart wrenching to lost a 28 day old innocent baby.

May he rest peacefully and watch over all of us and remind us to make better choices. He may have only been here for a very short time, but he has taught me so much this past week.

Please keep my family in your prayers as we all try to move forward. It has changed me so much already, I can't even imagine how much it will change his parents.

I need strength today.


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Quick update- Hiatus

Hi fellow readers. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I will be taking a short hiatus. Due to a tragic accident in my family, I need to take some time away to be with family and process this event.

I know I just made a commitment to be more present here on the blog, but this unexpected event takes priority right now.

Please keep my family in your pryers and I am hoping to be back soon.

Thank you for all of your support.

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Cat updates

It's Friday and I thought it would be fun to update you guys on Rick and Grace. They have both been bugging me for their interviews and thoughts they'd like put into this post. Silly kitties.

I've been meaning to do this update on the 2 munchkins for awhile now. The last I spoke of them Grace was still making the transition to not being the only cat anymore and Rick was finally fighting back when she harassed him.


The good news is that these two have become good buddies. They spend their mornings and evenings chasing eachother through the house. They have both claimed favorite sleeping spaces for the day and surprisingly they weren't the same spot.

Grace is 10 months old.  Rick is 13 months old. They grow so fast!

Grace has become the influencer (she must take after me) as Rick is more laid back and only seems to get in trouble when caught with one of Grace's bad habits.

Grace being a car model

Grace enjoys spending her days meowing at all of the lights that glare on the walls, curling up in her yoga mat (yes she has her own!) and rearranging the litter box sand every chance she gets. She can be stand offish at times and is known to nip at you when she's done being shown attention.

Rick on Grace's yoga mat

Rick is pretty laid back. He enjoys turning just about anything into a toy. They get bonus points if he can carry them in his mouth. Some favorites include balled up paper, toilet paper rolls, and Lego people. He loves being around people and snuggling. You will often find him curled up on a box or chasing around a toy.

I love these 2 munchkins to death and are so glad to have them in my life. They make everyday an adventure. Thank you for taking the time to stop and read up on my babies.

They thank you too. Happy Friday!

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Newsletters!



Remember back in October when I was super excited about my new newsletter? Remember how awesome it was? Yeah me either. That's because I hyped it all up and never ended up posting anything. Blogger fail. So now that I am turning over a new leaf and working hard to bring this blog back to life, I want to revisit the newsletter idea.

I want to be able to update my readers and share some behind the scenes stuff. The exclusives. So I am begging asking you to please consider signing up for my newsletter and I can promise you, you will get a newsletter and I won't spam you.

I am anticipating 1 to 2 newsletters a month. Maybe an extra one thrown in if there is something super exciting going on and I can't wait for the next one.

So what do you say? Will you join me?

Signing up is easy. I made the link super big, just in case you couldn't find it. :P



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My Relationship With Books



Reading has always been an interest to me, or so I thought. I would always read the newest rage out there. I read the Harry Potter series because everyone, including my mother was reading. My mom *gasp* read the Twilight before I did. I only got on board when the first movie came out. Thankfully I actually enjoyed both of these series, so I never really saw the issue. What issue am I talking about?

The issue is, I never found a genre of books that I personally enjoyed. I couldn't honestly look you in the face and say, I really love young adult books or self help books. I only read what was popular. That was until the 50 Shades of Grey series came out. I remember it was summer, and a book was going around at my job. At the time I didn't have cable or internet at my apartment so I decided to read the book. I got through the first book okay, but could not for the life of me finish the series.

It was then I realized I didn't actually know what I liked to read. That Christmas I got a kindle from my parents. I downloaded loads and loads of books off the free list daily. I read so many types of books, desperately trying to find what spoke to me. What would keep me up all night because I had to read "just one more page.."

That was back in 2012. Today I am re-aquainting myself with books. In the mist of life, I let reading fall onto the back burner. I wasn't going on daily adventures anymore and it really started to bother me. One of my promises to myself for 2016 was to read more. Explore new genres. See what it is that pulls me in these days.

Just in case you wanted to know, lately I really love YA (The Fault in Our Stars, etc), Self-Help (Anything Gretchen Rubin, Inspirational, etc), Dystopian (Hunger Games, Lunar Chronicles, etc), and Historical Fiction.

I have been a member of Goodreads for a few years and just recently jouned a pretty active Facebook group about books. I am growing my TBR (to be read) list rapidly. I have read 6 books so far this year and am working on book 7. This is huge for me, as my track record has been pretty pitiful the last couple of years.

The good news is, I visited my local book sale and walked out with 7 books for $10. 6 of which were on my TBR list, so I call that I win. R and I also have this new thing where we pick out a book that we will both read. We base this on what we think the other person would of picked, but we can also tolerate ourselves to get through (We have a completely different taste in books!). I will write an update on that once we both read the books.

In the mean time, starting in June I am going to start writing a "What I read" post and do a little review on each book. Because I have only read 6, possibly 7 by the end of this month, I will do an update on ALL the books I read this year. In June I am going to strive to read more and hopefully have at least 2 or 3 books to update you on  moving forward.

What is your relationship with books? Any recommendations on things I should check out?

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