Overcoming Fears one element at a time

Hello again sweet loves on the internet. As promised I am writing to tell you about the fear and uncomfortable place I was in yesterday that made me feel accomplished and like a winner! If you want to see my emotional post yesterday about taking the road to self discovery please check it out here.. (The Truth Is)

Truth is, I live for the moments where I can share my discomfort with you all. Why you ask? To show that discomfort can be beautiful.

These photos are courtesy of Julie who was my guide and teacher on the lake yesterday. I am so grateful she caught these beautiful photos of  me embracing my fears!

I am terrified of water. You won't ever catch me swimming in a lake or the ocean. I am one of those people who enjoy the beach and bodies of water for the view. I will put my feet in, but I never go in past my knees.

Yesterday morning I went out at 7am and did paddle board yoga. I will tell you the first hour I was out there I couldn't get off my knees. I was terrified of falling in. Let me tell you, when fear is present, it doesn't matter how much balance you have on land. The water is a completely different ballgame.

By the end of the class I was able to stand up. I still took it very slow and anytime I moved I was swearing bullets. I went from paddling on my knees to standing up and paddling back to shore on my feet as you can see in the first photo.

Another post that is coming, probably next week is I just spend 4 days in Vermont at Wanderlust Festival and did all kinds of new yoga there. I feel like I have covered a wide variety of yoga in a week. From aerial yoga to paddle board yoga. I think I am on my way to want to know it all along with crossing fears off my list.

Thank you all for your patience with me. The generosity will always be returned.

Namaste friends.

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The Truth Is

The truth is, I'm scared. I sit in front of this computer day in and day out wondering what I should say. What story am I going to tell today? Am I sorry? Am I tired? Am I okay? Am I not good enough for this? Some days I really don't know.

What I do know is I am lost. I am not sure who I am right now. Some say this is normal. Some don't understand what that looks like.

Mentally, I feel the best I have felt in a long time, but I'm tired. Physically, I am exhausted. I have been on this journey to really find my purpose and who I really am since last year. It really kicked into gear when I decided to take on yoga teacher training in January.

I have read book after book talking about self care, self awareness, and self help. All of the same topics come up in each book. They all say the same things over and over again.

You must let it go. You must not let anyone else guide you to do something that does not feel comfortable to you. This does not mean the journey itself will not be uncomfortable, but it must be your uncomfortable.

The truth is, this morning I did something that made me utterly uncomfortable, but now I sit here writing that I did it. What is that something? Well you will have to come back tomorrow and see. Link to that post right here..  Overcoming Fears one element at a time

Today my Truth is, is that I can feel uncomfortable and also accomplished at the same time.

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What Teaching Feels Like

Happy Friday lovelies! I am so excited to tell you all about my first teaching experience. Last Friday, I walked into the unknown. I walked into a studio for the first time in which I was unfamiliar. I was also not feeling my best. I sat anxiously waiting for my students. How many would there be? Would anyone show up? These were my questions. I had no idea. I took a stab in the dark and arrived at a very unfamiliar, scary place. A place of the unknown.

After a few minutes, 3 women got out of their car and made their way up to the studio with mats. I was thrilled and scared all at the same time.

It was a woman and her 2 daughters. Only one of them had done any form of yoga in the past and they were at my will to learn. I was in control and I was shaking in my boots.

I had planned only about a 45 minute class due to it being the first time, but because of the small class we had pretty much the full hour. It challenged me to create and make decisions on the spot. It was liberating to have a class listen to me and understand what I was telling them to do was a good thing.

At the end of the class I was able to get feedback from them. I told them not to hold back. They all said they thought it was great and I did a good job. They said being beginners they didn't know what to expect and they appreciated my attention to all of them.

I felt so good being able to guide these 3 ladies into a yoga practice, even with a few bumps along the way.

Now tonight is the real test. I have been told there will be more coming to this class... wish me luck!

Stay tuned!

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Create Magic

Oh hey.. I didn't see you there... I mean I haven't showed up lately so I wasn't expecting you to either. But here you are. I thank you.

I didn't plan to take a few days weeks off. I got super pulled into a few other projects and here we are. But no shame. Those projects are inspiring my writing. They are giving me stories to share here on my beloved blog.

I woke up this morning and got a sign that I needed to write today. Something about today needed to happen on this blog. I am putting all my faith in that the Universe knows what it's doing.

I had an assignment today and I showed up. For that I'm very fortunate to feel like I've finally tapped into a clearer mind and letting so much of the mind chatter go.

 Hearing things more clearly now. Things are finally starting to happen in the direction I was aiming for.

I need to share with you all my very first, brand new yoga class. It happened. I survived and I'm geared up for my next one this week.

Friday. Come back Friday.


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Weekends are for no sleep and fun!

The last 72 hours have been a whirlwind of events. First let me start off by saying, if you work hard enough, dream loud enough, and focus on the positive, things do happen. No, they don't always happen overnight, but they do happen. Oh and you will probably be exhausted after.

Friday I had to take my yoga certification practical test. This basically means I had to teach an hour long class by myself, to a class of 2 or more. I had 4 students plus my teacher in house while I taught. I was super nervous and honestly had nothing planned. I had to prove to myself that if I were meant to be a teacher, I could do it without a plan.

I knew everyone who came to the class except one person. It was comforting and scary all at the same time. I kept listening to myself teach, criticizing myself along the way. I was halfway through my class and I wanted to quit. My internal voice chattered up a storm while I tried to stay focus. I had to start breathing and put myself into a more meditative state in order to continue.

I let my own voice try to sabotage my test. I ended up completing my class and passing with flying colors, but my self doubt got to me. It reminded me that I needed to check my self doubt at the door and remember I could do these things. I was training. I was ready. My internal chatter never made it's way out to the open where the rest of the world could hear. I was grateful for that.

I am happy to announce I am now a real teacher. That alone is a great accomplishment.

Now let's continue on with the crazy. We got up super early on Saturday to head down to Pennsylvania for a friends wedding. We also stopped along the way to visit another friend. The wedding was pretty great and I enjoyed seeing some friends and enjoying some good food. We got back to NY at around 11:30pm and I was beat. I passed out immediately and hoped to get plenty of sleep.

I was up early on Sunday to prepare for my essential oils class and for the arrival for my parents. I had a very successful class with lots of knowledge. It amazes me every day the things I can learn. New gifts to share with the world. It's amazing.

 After the essential oil class me and my mom headed to a mad hatter tea party. It is a yearly fundraiser for a local non-profit. We had such a good time sipping in tea, snacking on traditional finger foods, and enjoying conversation.

I am so exhausted today, but can't complain. It was a weekend surrounded by friends and family and that is something I needed.

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