As I stand in front of the mirror, I have a glimmer of hope that something has changed. Thought after thought enters my head as I stare intently at myself. "My pants seem to be fitting looser and I think my shirt feels more comfortable." "I think my stomach might look smaller, hard to tell today". Then the thoughts go the other way. "Maybe I am just hallucinating. No weight has come off." " You're not beautiful. You are fat." "Nobody likes you anyway."

Self esteem plays a large part in this battle. When you are used to hearing negative things from the people around you, it is hard to believe in the good things. A year ago this month I went on a "sleeping" medication to help me get better sleep which was the excuse my doctor used for my stomach issues. I had been battling stomach pains, fatigue, and weight gain.  She claimed I needed to get better sleep and eat better.

 I became very active at the gym and even took a regular yoga class. No matter how hard I pushed myself the pounds kept packing on. I changed my diet, even eliminating foods with no change. Good news was my stomach stopped hurting and I thought I was sleeping better. Although I wasn't quite sure I wasn't sleeping good prior to the medicine.

I went in for a 3 month check and the doctor asked how I was doing. I told her my pain was gone, but I just couldn't get this weight to come off. She once again told me I needed to exercise more and eat better. I explained over and over again that I've been the most active I've ever been and my diet was the cleanest it's ever been. She sent me away with only asking that I continue to take the medication and continue to be healthier.

My job hosted a Biggest Loser competition in January. I weighed in at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. Each weigh in I barely lost anything if I didn't gain instead. I was frustrated and ashamed all at the same time. Nothing fit. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I had to make a change. I finally made an appointment with a new doctor. The first thing she confirmed was the medication was causing the weight gain even when my previous doctor told me that wasn't my problem.

Another thing she confirmed was my life environment was stressful. I needed to cut my stress out to get feeling better. I stopped taking the pills that day. Although my home environment is still very stressful and some of the people surrounding me are still verbally abusive, I am doing better.

For the first time in a year I stepped on a scale and was happy with the result. I am down 15 pounds since I stopped taking those pills back in April. I feel like I have some control back in my life. I am finally allowing myself to see the positive changes. No more negative sound bites in my head.

People do not have the right to make you feel insecure in your own skin, why should you do it to yourself?

Whew! What a week it was last week! I recapped all of my Blog Her 2015 experiences along with my conference essentials to help you survive your first or even 100th conference. Then I wrapped up my Summer Tea Swap. It was a pretty action packed week here on The Trish List.

Today I want to give you a sneak peak of my weekend. Me and R were finally able to get together with some friends to do a wine tour. I will be living in the Finger Lakes for 4 years in November and haven't made the time to do one. It was a last minute decision and we had a blast. The weather was absolutely gorgeous this weekend with blue skies and barely any humidity. We decided to do the Seneca Lake Wine Trail and I was super impressed.

I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story:

Seneca Lake

Wine, Swine, and Stein

We asked and it was CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON :)

This place is GORGEOUS!

<3

After attending my first blogging conference in a big city (NYC) I came up with a list of things to pack to make the experience that much better. These items don't only apply for blogging conferences. You can use these items for any type of conference you are attending.

• Comfy shoes: I know you want to look fashionable and pretty thought out the conference, but if you are planning to do a lot of walking, especially if you are not staying at the conference hotel, having comfy shoes to put on is a must. I picked a pair that were light in weight, yet still comfy and fashionable.

• Deodorant: Conferences make for a long day, especially when they fall in the summer. Having a good deodorant that works all day is highly recommended. I was glad I packed my Dove Advanced Care 48 Hour anti-perspirant. It kept me dry and smelling good even after running around NYC in 90 degree weather.

•  Sunscreen: I am pretty white. If I don't wear sunscreen I end up looking like a good ol' fashioned Coca Cola can. It ain't pretty! I rubbed on some SPF 60 sunscreen and off I went. Even while sweating like there is no tomorrow, it stayed on and did the job. Remember, even if your conference is in the winter, you can still get sunburn! Be safe and pack it regardless. 

• Collapsible Bag: You never know what kind of swag you are going to come across at a conference. Sometimes you are provided with plenty of bags, and sometimes you only have 1. I always carry a bag that can easily fit in my purse just in case. This also comes in handy if you are exploring the city and decide to buy a few souvenirs.

• Business Cards: Always, always make sure you have business cards on you at a conference. You are going to be mingling with not only other bloggers (or others in your field if this is a work related conference) but sponsors and brands. You don't want to be caught off guard when someone asks for your card. Make sure to bring at least 250 just in case. 

• Portable Power Charger: Guys can I say how much of a life saver this is? This day in age EVERYONE has a smartphone, so everyone is looking for a place to plug in. To help ease the panic mode when you phone goes into power saving mode, invest in a portable charger and save yourself some grief. You can charge right in your purse and have a totally charged phone in less than an hour. 

I hope this list was helpful for your next conference! What do you consider an essential? Share them with me in the comments!

*I received the Dove Advanced Care from Influenster free for review purposes. All opinions are my own.  
 

If you like tea, you have picked the right day to read my blog. Today I will be posting about the yummy teas I received from Jenn over at Optimization, Actually. Earlier in the month I decided to host a Summer Tea Swap. The Winter Tea Swap went so well it sounded like a great idea to introduce some great teas that could be enjoyed in the summer.

Without further adieu, here is what I received!




1. Starbucks Iced coffee: It's not tea but that's okay in my book! I can't wait to try this out. Hopefully this weekend :)

2. Dandelion Tea: I have heard good things about dandelion tea. Maybe it will help this bloat I've got going on lately!

3. Tulsi Jasmine Green Tea: This stuff smells so good! I think I have found my new favorite go to tea!

4. Twinnings Chai: I have had this tea in the past and it is a good one. So glad to have more of this in my life!

5. Tazo Ice Passion Sweetened Tea: I haven't tried this yet but I am a fan of the passion tea when I go to Starbucks so if it's anything like that I will like this.

6. Harris Green Tea: Gotta love the green tea. Some people don't like the taste but I think its pretty calming and has just enough flavor.

7. Kirkland Green Tea: This looks interesting. I can't wait to try this and give a formal report!

Thank you so much Jenn for the awesome teas. I love trying new things and these are all certainly right up my alley! I am planning my 2nd annual Winter Tea Swap this November so keep an eye out for that!

I have opened a link up for all participants to link up what they got! I am also okay with anyone linking up their favorite teas! Recommendations are always welcome!

Day 3 (Check out Day 1 and Day 2)

I didn't feel as tired today when I woke up. I was however supposed to go do some early yoga and that didn't happen. I also decided missing breakfast wasn't the end of the world and I didn't have as big of an interest to that morning keynote, so I went in a little later. It was Saturday so there was no rush hour to worry about. I arrived at around 10:15 with just enough time to get me to a session I was interested in attending; You As a Brand: Brands on Bloggers.

This was an interesting panel. So much insight was given on what brands are looking for and what they avoid. I learned a lot about what I should be doing moving forward to help me connect with brands better. Very informative and glad I attended.



I had a lunch time private event with Good Health. I was really excited about this one because I am all about living a healthier life these days and any tips I can get works for me. I sat with some pretty great ladies and we laughed together as we all attempted some yoga in the crowded room. Lunch was pretty yummy and we sat and learned some food tips.

After lunch I headed to another session that was set up once again as a round table discussion. Building a Media Kit with Erin Baynham was one of the top sessions on my list to attend. It was apparently on top of lots of peoples lists because it was PACKED! I was lucky to have a seat close to Erin so I heard everything clearly but others got frustrated and I think next year this type of session needs to be in a bigger setting. I took a lot out of this session with all of the amazing ladies who spoke up and gave insight. I don't currently have a media kit but am working on one this week. I am excited to see what I can come up with and where it can take me. Do you have a media kit?

I ended my conference experience with one last visit to the Expo. In case you are wondering what the Expo is, it is a huge hall where all of the sponsors are set up ready to meet you. You have opportunities to hand out business cards, mingle with fellow bloggers, and sample new products. This is where most of your swag comes from. It can be really overwhelming.

Just a peak at some of the swag I went home with

I unfortunately did not attend the closing party. I really had every intention of doing so but had some insecurities about getting back to my cousins safely at that hour of the night. I ended up heading home and spending more time with my cousin and organizing everything for my trip home. I had a great experience and can't wait to attend more conferences in the future.

Stop back tomorrow to see some of my conference must haves when attending for the first time. These tips could also be helpful for your 100th conference.  I hope you enjoyed the journey with me this week. Now I want to hear about your experiences with conferences. Tell me all about your experiences in the comments!