I often come back to this space when things are on my mind. I always want to continue writing when things feel important. Many years ago, when I was living alone, barely making ends meet, and needing something to keep me busy, I started this blog.
It is a diary of sorts of what has gone on with me over the past decade. That I am truly grateful for. At one time this space was being used to earn money. It was the only focus I had at the time. When I started to make money, it became a very different space for me. It no longer felt like a place to escape and connect. It was a job.
Last night as I was falling asleep I had a conversation with my husband about my stress and how I couldn't quite pinpoint what was causing it. I lay there for a few minutes and it hit me. Money.
I grew up being taught that when you make a lot of money that means you are successful. I also grew up with the belief that you do not quit your job unless you have a new one lined up. Money was going to make me happy so I needed to make sure I was always making lots of it.
I stayed in my first "real" job for almost 10 years. I never made enough money, but in my small town, there really wasn't much else. If I didn't decide to move, I probably would still be working there if I am being honest.
This move is where my money stress began. Things of course did not go as planned and things became a struggle. I was chasing the money just to survive. I have worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time just to meet the bare minimum. I made many job changes for better-paying jobs with bigger titles. As I got to the top of that mountain I realized, I was not that happy. I was able to support myself, making lots of money, but the happiness wasn't there. The stress increased. What was wrong?
I grew up being taught that when you make a lot of money that means you are successful. I also grew up with the belief that you do not quit your job unless you have a new one lined up. Money was going to make me happy so I needed to make sure I was always making lots of it.
I stayed in my first "real" job for almost 10 years. I never made enough money, but in my small town, there really wasn't much else. If I didn't decide to move, I probably would still be working there if I am being honest.
This move is where my money stress began. Things of course did not go as planned and things became a struggle. I was chasing the money just to survive. I have worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time just to meet the bare minimum. I made many job changes for better-paying jobs with bigger titles. As I got to the top of that mountain I realized, I was not that happy. I was able to support myself, making lots of money, but the happiness wasn't there. The stress increased. What was wrong?
Often times when we get bigger titles with more money, that comes with more responsibility. Now I am not saying I don't want responsibility, please don't misunderstand, but what I do mean is I took work home with me. I always felt like I needed to be "on". I never just turned it all off to relax.
When you don't take the time to shut down and relax, you stay in a state of fight or flight. This isn't healthy. We live in constant stress and in turn, it causes health issues, anxiety, poor sleep patterns, etc.
in October of 2021, I quit working full-time and went down to part-time. By the summer of 2022, I made the choice to 100% quit working for someone else and to work only for myself. Almost as quick as I quit that job, I committed to another person to help out part-time.
I continue this pattern as I continue to heal myself and the money wound I have. When I "help" people out in business, I tend to take on all the stress that I wanted to leave in having a job. This time around I have started to finally put up boundaries. I will not bring home my work because I run my own business and that is what I work on at home.
I continue this pattern as I continue to heal myself and the money wound I have. When I "help" people out in business, I tend to take on all the stress that I wanted to leave in having a job. This time around I have started to finally put up boundaries. I will not bring home my work because I run my own business and that is what I work on at home.
It has been a learning curve, but it is something that I realized has limited me to succeeding in my own interests. Being an entrepreneur is a new thing but it is also something that tests you in every aspect of your life. I would never give it up for anything, but it reminds me of how far I have come.
Every day I learn a little more about my comfort levels and what I am willing to do to succeed. I wish I could help everyone all the time to succeed in business and in life, but I realized by doing that I can't succeed myself 100%.
I am less stressed now making less money than when I was at the top of my career. I am much happier now that I realized a lot of that stress came from bringing work home and always worrying about what others would think at my job. Now I focus on the important tasks and get them done - both in my business, my client's businesses, and my life.
I am not saying that being successful at your job is wrong, but I want it to be okay for you to feel unhappy even when people assume you have it all. Having it all doesn't always mean happiness.
When you start feeling unhappy or stressed out in your job and it continues on with no end, it is time to get quiet and see what has changed. Allow yourself grace as you put up boundaries and make choices that may feel uncomfortable.
If you need help in this area and would like to do some coaching or energy healing, schedule a free consultation with me and we can get it sorted out.
I am less stressed now making less money than when I was at the top of my career. I am much happier now that I realized a lot of that stress came from bringing work home and always worrying about what others would think at my job. Now I focus on the important tasks and get them done - both in my business, my client's businesses, and my life.
I am not saying that being successful at your job is wrong, but I want it to be okay for you to feel unhappy even when people assume you have it all. Having it all doesn't always mean happiness.
When you start feeling unhappy or stressed out in your job and it continues on with no end, it is time to get quiet and see what has changed. Allow yourself grace as you put up boundaries and make choices that may feel uncomfortable.
If you need help in this area and would like to do some coaching or energy healing, schedule a free consultation with me and we can get it sorted out.
Talk soon!
