Yesterday I got a a call no one ever wants to get. A dear friend passed suddenly. I was sitting in a restaurant about to eat a late lunch. My appetite gone. Nowhere to go to let the tears flow.
I quietly sat with my family with every kind of thought running through my mind. Desperately trying to find an answer that made sense. Desperately trying to find a way to blame myself for not being a better friend. Desperately grasping at anything to make myself feel balanced.
I cried. I internally questioned everything. And then I did these 3 things that really helped:
1. Spoke with a "safe" person
I called someone who I felt safest with to talk to. This person is someone you can tell anything to, even if it feels silly and they do not judge. This person can be anyone- a friend, family member, colleague or mentor. It doesn't matter, as long as you feel safe.
2. Sat quietly and meditated
Meditating can help when grief hits. When you allow yourself to focus on your breath you can turn down the internal chatter. Being in stillness allows you to solely focus on your body and allows you to bring the stress and worry levels down, even if just for a little while.
3. Allowed myself to feel any emotion without judgement
This one is important. When grief hits we get all the "should of" thoughts. I know this because I went through them last night. I also had to remind myself that nothing can change what "is" in the current moment. Giving yourself grace is the best option. Grief has so many layers. So many "should of's". So many stories. Do what makes you feel best.
Grief is different for everyone. There are so many possibilities to help sooth your soul. I hope some of these I listed can help you.
I miss my friend deeply. Now I need to be gentle with myself.
Have a beautiful week, friends.
