I know you all expected to read about goals today. The goals I am setting for 2016. I woke up this morning expecting to post them and something changed. I let my emotions drive. Something more important was on my mind.

A big part of my goals this year is to come back to being me. I am going to continue to remind myself that I am doing things like blogging for me.

My holiday week was pretty jarring. I faced a lot of hard realities. I am starting my first week of the new year with a heavy heart and frustrated.

I know there has to be some bad to see the good, but sometimes that is really hard.

I know you can all relate and can understand my frustration.

Hello first Monday of 2016..

I gave up on new year resolutions a long time ago. I feel like they are meant to be broken, and if that's the case, why make one? In 2015 I decided to set goals and break each month into a different project. I feel like it worked out for me, more than I had anticipated.


I started 2015 with a word. I felt 2014 was a little crazy, so I picked the word Rejuvenate. I wanted to slow things down a bit. Come to peace with some things. Get some rest. I have to say, my year was the complete polar opposite of this.

I struggled. I stressed. I hurt. I cried. A lot.

Looking at it now, I think I did rejuvenate more than I had realized. The official definition of rejuvenate is: make (someone or something) look or feel younger, fresher, or more lively; restore to a condition characteristic of a younger landscape.

I was able to finally move past some harsh realities and I have made myself feel more lively. I am working on having fun again. I am learning to look at everything in a different angle. It's really hard but it does seem to help you think more positively. 

I have thought about my word for 2016 for awhile now. It is something I have fought with in my head but in the end it keeps coming back to me. It only makes more sense to me because I have this word tattooed on my body already. I had that done 10 years ago.. It's time I start remembering why it was put there. 

My 2016 word is Dream.  

I forgot what it feels like to have hopes and dreams. I have watched others in 2015 achieve some of their dreams, while I sat on the sidelines feeling sorry for myself. That will not happen again this year. It's a new year and I am a new age. Time to prove to myself that I can do it. 

Official yearly goals to come next week!

So today is the day. The end of another year. Another birthday. I also am sitting here reflecting on the fact that so much has changed for me in the last 8 weeks. A whole entire year and 8 short weeks of it made the difference for me. It goes to show that any amount of time can change the way a person lives their life.



There are 2 things that have happened in those 8 weeks that have really made the difference. They will send me into 2016 as a 33 year old with a new vision. Those 2 things are finding a new job and meeting my new therapist.

I  have made it no secret that I have been burnt out and unhappy this year. You saw that in my writing. You saw that in my inconsistency. I was in desperate need of a change. I was in desperate need of a new point of view.

Making the decision to change jobs was not an easy one, no matter how unhappy I was. It was familiar and I was comfortable there. We must remind ourselves that just because we are comfortable, doesn't mean we can use it to justify our unhappiness. The opportunity came up quickly and I knew in my heart I needed the change. Before I knew what I was really doing I accepted the job and sat on it for a few days.

Putting in my notice was really hard. In those days leading up to my decision I saw things in the people around me that made me remember why I once did love that place. I saw the kindness in the coworkers that became my friends. The friends who became my family. I was shown such respect and kindness in my last days. I almost felt guilty for leaving.

I stood my ground and left with my head high. I knew it was time for something new. A new chapter in my life. It was my last day at my old job that I got the call about my new therapist. I had been waiting 2 months for a replacement due to my therapist moving out of the practice.

I started my new job on a Monday and met my new therapist the next day on Tuesday. They have both opened my eyes to new ideas. They have both shown me that I have been unhappy for way to long.

I am happy to say, that today, on my birthday, I am finally ready to move past all of the sadness and pain I have held onto this year. I am ready to take on 2016 as the strong person I know I am. That is the best birthday gift I could ever give myself. Letting it all go. Setting myself free. Setting up myself for great things to come.

It also makes me a little less bitter that I have to share my birthday with the entire world ;)

Happy New Year!