I haven't shared yet about the first vacation I have taken in almost 5 years. It was the first vacation we took as a family with Baby Bloob, who just turned 4 on our vacation. That in itself is mindblowing to me. How is he 4 already?!

We decided to take a beach vacation. We planned it before gas skyrocketed in the United States so when that all came into play, we got a little nervous about driving and costs. We do own a hybrid car so thankfully we were able to make it work and make the trip from upstate New York to Nags Head, North Carolina without killing the bank account too much. 

Guys, when I say it was a magical place. I am not joking. We stayed at the John Yancey Oceanfront Inn in one of their Sea Building rooms. We had a slider door that walked right out onto the beach. We had a little private deck to sit and enjoy the view. When I tell you this was heaven, I am urging you to try it out for yourself.

It was also toddler heaven. He could play right off the deck in the sand. The afternoon provided a nice shade patch so he could play without the sun blaring down on him. 

Now as we go into this weekend I am focusing on getting stuff ready for our gardens for the summer. We had a random snowstorm that produced 8 inches of snow on Tuesday of this week but it all melted the next day. The grass is green. The flowers are coming up and I am 100% ready for warm days and cool nights. 

Every time I turn around someone is telling me that I am meant to write. That my words soothe and teach without being over the top. I never considered myself a writer. I never would have thought it would be an outlet that brings myself peace and joy. 

Yesterday I got a a call no one ever wants to get. A dear friend passed suddenly. I was sitting in a restaurant about to eat a late lunch. My appetite gone. Nowhere to go to let the tears flow. 

I quietly sat with my family with every kind of thought running through my mind. Desperately trying to find an answer that made sense. Desperately trying to find a way to blame myself for not being a better friend. Desperately grasping at anything to make myself feel balanced. 

I cried. I internally questioned everything. And then I did these 3 things that really helped:

I called someone who I felt safest with to talk to. This person is someone you can tell anything to, even if it feels silly and they do not judge. This person can be anyone- a friend, family member, colleague or mentor. It doesn't matter, as long as you feel safe. 

Meditating can help when grief hits. When you allow yourself to focus on your breath you can turn down the internal chatter. Being in stillness allows you to solely focus on your body and allows you to bring the stress and worry levels down, even if just for a little while. 

This one is important. When grief hits we get all the "should of" thoughts. I know this because I went through them last night. I also had to remind myself that nothing can change what "is" in the current moment. Giving yourself grace is the best option. Grief has so many layers. So many "should of's". So many stories. Do what makes you feel best. 

Grief is different for everyone. There are so many possibilities to help sooth your soul. I hope some of these I listed can help you. 

I miss my friend deeply. Now I need to be gentle with myself. 

Have a beautiful week, friends.