Half way through August and I am writing this to check in on the goal I set for myself this month. The goal was to let everything go and work on myself. What I have come to realize while working on this goal, is that means so much more than I originally thought.
This is a raw honest update, because honestly I don’t know how else to write it.
Relationships are hard. You have to work at them ALL OF THE TIME. Today it often reminds me of how you had to keep relationships going while playing the game The Sims. You would have to interact with all of these people regularly or they would no longer be your friend.
I used to laugh at this but also get really annoyed. “Who needs to really talk to someone every day to keep someone from being angry?” It was my least favorite part of the game.
Maybe that spoke a lot about my own personal character. I know we all have that saying about good friends being able to bounce right back to where you were last time you met. I believe in that to a point. Do we ever REALLY feel 100% comfortable with a person we haven’t seen in 5 years? Maybe more comfortable than we thought we would, but life is not the same at that point. Things have happened to both of you that did not happen together.
It’s a harsh reality to swallow sometimes. That person you once knew so well could be like a stranger to you the next time you meet. Not because you did something wrong, but because you did not keep in touch. Because you did not work at that relationship as much as you through you did.
More bad news. This can also happen with someone you live with every day. You somehow lose the communication you once had. Or maybe you never really had the communication but now that things are going south, you see the strain. You see the part where you are no longer connecting.
It’s scary. You feel lost and trapped, but don’t necessarily want that relationship to end. You see that other things got in the way. Work. Family. Friends. Somewhere along the way your relationship became less of a priority.
We didn’t work as hard as we should have. We had to come to a place where things got scary to realize we needed help. We needed to bring back that communication we lost somewhere along the way. We needed to make “us” a priority again.
Today I am proud to say that R and I are on the right path again. We are making “us” a priority again. We are pushing everything else back to ensure we are healthy and happy first. We have vowed to make this work because we love each other and are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. In 38 days we say ‘I do’.
I am happy to say I am also ready to start working on all of my relationships. Friends and family alike. It’s time we all start talking again. It’s time to have that interaction. Thanks to The Sims for reminding me of that. Reminding me that if I want to succeed I need a network of people to back me up. But for them to back me up I need to interact with them on a regular basis. I need to share with them my needs and feelings.
Thank you again for sticking with me through these rough waters. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light and where you need to go. I can finally see the light again.
Here’s to the rest of August and making happy and healthy choices!