The Postpartum Diaries: 16 Weeks



I started writing the intro to this post a few weeks ago. It was starting to feel boring to me, as I had nothing really great to say that everyone else hasn't already said. I even debated writing this post. Then this happened. I wrote a post about body image postpartum... sort of. I had a really bad day and really fought with myself about my image and how I was feeling. It was rough. I shed a lot of tears and got a lot of great support.

But as always, with support there will always be criticism. You will always have someone who will either misunderstand you or just really want to fight with you. I get it. It happens. It is SO hard to put myself out there on the internet on a regular day, but I do it because I love sharing stories with all of you. It was SUPER hard to talk about my weight postpartum.

I want to be clear. I feel bad about my weight because I don't feel good. Like literally feel sick in my body. My body aches because of the weight. This isn't a "oh my, I am ugly now because I can't wear super tiny clothes in the middle of summer and show off my assets" kid of feeling. Also..no where did I ever post that my weight and image was more important than my child.

Yes. Someone actually attacked me for caring more about my weight then my child. *crickets chirping*

When did I say that? 

And to be honest. The ones who attacked me the most were the people I know outside of blog land. They are people who I know personally. Family members. Friends. Acquaintances. People I know who have gone through this themselves.

Why must we be so ugly to one another, even when we know how it feels?

But honestly, that's all another post for another time. Today is about an update on everything else going on, not just the weight or the pity party I threw myself.

Here's what's going on since my last postpartum update. It has been 10 weeks. Little Bloob is 16 weeks old today. Where in the world has time gone? Little man is doing great. Chattering away and rolling over. He got his big boy seat, AKA the high chair. He enjoys sitting in it watching us cook meals throughout the day. He has also starting teething, so that has been fun.

The last time I updated I was having some trouble with breastfeeding. The good news is, it got better, just like everyone said it would. I still don't produce enough for him to eat full time breast milk, but he is getting it. That is all that matters to me. He is healthy and thriving and that is most important.

I have returned back to work full-time. It's been 8 weeks already. For those of you who don't know I work from home. I am not my own boss, so I actually have a 9-5 schedule to keep. Many people think it's the best thing ever to work from home when you have a baby. Spoiler alert. It's not.

I didn't have to deal with daycare of separation anxiety, but I do have the stress of taking care of my infant while trying to get my job done. More info coming on that next week. Stay tuned.

We all know I struggled with weight gain over the past 10 weeks, so we won't get back into that. I will say I have really taken a look at my diet and have been making better choices for about a full month now. I am measuring out my portions and it really makes the difference on how I see food.

I'm learning a lot about nutrition and how to safely change my lifestyle while still providing nourishment for my son. I have watched my milk supply soar and I have watched it come to a screeching halt. My whole body is counting on the food I put in my body. I am slowly learning to accept that.

At 16 weeks I am starting to get a real handle on being a new mom. I know my kids signals and little quirks. I know when he's hungry or when he just wants to snuggle. I know that he doesn't like to eat when he's working on a poop. I get it little dude. I don't either.

I have come a long way in the last 16 weeks. I have learned so much about myself and about little human beings. I have learned to have patience and when to put everything down, including the baby and walk away for a few minutes to catch my sanity.

I am a new person everyday when I wake up. I never know what challenges will be thrown at me in this new world of parenthood.

So tell me.. How am I doing? How did your first few months of parenthood go? I'd love to hear your stories!





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100 Dreams Project Vol 9



Happy Friday. We made it. I wasn't sure I was going to make it on Tuesday, so this is a huge accomplishment. It's been a pretty challenging week and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier now that it's the end of it. The weekend may bring some relief to the challenges but Monday they will be back.

One of those challenges brings me back to a post about my cat Grace. We decided to have some testing done because of her behavior. We got some news that could mean many things. A lot of those things may not be great news. We need to do more tests to see what's causing the issues, but my heart is breaking thinking about this. I try not to think of the worst, but it's been very hard for me not to.

Grace was my therapy kitty. I got her when I was in a very bad place a few years ago and she has helped me immensely with my anxiety. I adopted her from the shelter. We rescued each other. The thought of her not being with me tears me apart inside. As I am typing this I have tears streaming down my face. It's such an emotional topic for me.

All I can ask is, please pray for my kitty. She's 3 and has a lot of life to live still. I still need her.

I continue to remind myself that all of these challenges are helping me become a stronger person. I will get through this. So let's get on to the dreams for this week. Today marks the 2nd to last week of my 100 Dreams project. Crazy right? Next week will be my grant finale!

I hope I can push hard to find those last 10 dreams. It's gotten tough the last few weeks to really think about what I want. Let's take a look at number 81-90.

81. Learn to let go of guilt and resentment
82. Eat pastries in Paris
83. Get over my fear of public speaking and travel to speak about mental illness and self love
84. Rescue as many shelter cats as humanly possible
85.Take a cooking class to learn how to make appetizers and desserts. All the little fancy things!
86. Visit Ayana Resort in Bali to experience the floating champagne breakfast in a pool
87. Stay in a hut over the water in Figi
88. Go on a Mediterranean cruise
89. Have my photos commissioned for a great cause (I like to photograph scenery)
90. Eliminate hate in this world. Be the change. Be a leader. Make it happen.

Have a wonderful weekend, and don't forget to dream!



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Is Writing My "Thing"?


I have to admit, I didn't plan a post for today. I sat here last night staring at the screen, wondering what it was that needed to be said. What was on my mind? What did the interwebs need to hear from me today?

Some days it's like the universe speaks to me clearly. An idea pops up and I run with it. Other days the universe makes me work for it. Today is clearly one of those days.

It's been raining here for 3 days. The sky is gloomy and the air is thick. Needless to say it is pretty miserable outside.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to be doing with my life in the upcoming months. I feel like I say that often, but if we aren't thinking about it, what else would we be doing? Now maybe your answer to that question is just "Going with the flow"

I'm not gonna lie, I love living life as it comes at me, but I also need to be a little smarter with my adventure attitude as I have a child to think of these days. I can't do something too rash that I leave myself in a bad situation if my plan backfires on me.

I often daydream of becoming a freelancer. Writing while the baby naps. I never considered myself a writer before starting this blog. I do enjoy writing as well as doing research. I also love reviewing products, events, and life in general.

My favorite part is interacting with everyone who comes in contact with my writing. I love to have conversation about the topics I write, even if they are challenging at times. People are my thing. I love meeting and helping people as much as I can.

Each time I have my tarot cards read by my friend, I always get cards that reference writing. Maybe it was meant to be? Maybe it is what my future holds?

I'm not really sure right now, but it sure does sound interesting. Now maybe someone will read this and will think, "Man, that Trish sure knows what she's doing in life" and will offer me a weekly writing opportunity.

I can dream right? I mean I am all about the dreams these days..

Namaste my friends.



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Coffee Chat Vol 1



Most days I'm an introvert to a T. Today I'm coming out of my shell a bit and inviting you to coffee. For me, I'll be having a cold brew, which is my new obsession to beat this summer heat.

You, I'd hope would order something interesting so I would have something to start the conversation with. I find that less awkward then asking about the weather.

Once we get passed the small talk I'd admit how I've been feeling in my everyday life. A bit overwhelmed and still feeling like I'm not enough.

I would tell you my mind rushes a mile a minute, but I think I've found a way to slow it down. Walking along the lake. Early morning walks in the nice breeze before the hot temps sneak up.

It's been on these walks that I've had some new ideas about my blog. Things that will be good for me, and may spark interest with some of you. I know we are all struggling with something at some point.

I'd tell you that it brings me complete joy knowing that some of my stories have helped someone else, even if I never hear about it. Sometimes the universe just lets me know. It's magical like that.

Circling back to being overwhelmed and not feeling like enough, I'd tell you about a self love project in the works for August and September. More details to come.

I'd also tell you how much I love my son more and more everyday. It's a struggle some days learning to be a mom, but I wouldn't change it for anything. This is why self love is so important.

I'd tell you I am sad that my 100 dreams project will be coming to an end in just 2 short weeks. It is because of this that I am going to do a follow up series called "Living the Dream". You can't just make lists and not expect to follow through right?

Lastly, I'd tell you I finally did the one thing I said I'd never do. I dropped my cellphone in a parking lot and shattered the screen in the upper corner. Yep. It happened. Good way to confirm that, yes indeed your phone screen is made of glass.

I'd then remember one more thing before we parted ways. Something that brought me pure joy this weekend. While cleaning out some old boxes I came across my old iPod. Like really old. The original iPod Mini. I got it for Christmas in 2005. At that moment I was glad I never parted with my iHome. Also an original, because I had no cords for the iPod. I hooked it all up and was instantly brought back to my early 20's.

Man what a feeling.

Happy Monday friends. Thanks for that chat!

Namaste.


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100 Dreams Project Vol 8



It's that time again. Time for my next 10 dreams. I can't believe I am posting my 80th dream today! It feels like I just started this  project, and we are at 8 weeks already!

I have really loved doing this series as it reminds me that even on the really low days, I still have dreams. Once I wrap up all 100 dreams I will do some follow ups. They will all be put in one area as well so they are easier found if you had interest to see what I had on my list.

So without further adieu, numbers 71-80!

71. Commit to a healthy lifestyle with food and stick with it.
72. Backpack across southeast Asia (Thailand, Laos, Vietnam)
73. Stay in a hostel
74. Get over my fear of swimming in bodies of water
75. Create a brand that's recognized for empowering women of all body shapes
76. Visit Disney locations all over the world
77. Learn to be patient with not only myself but with others
78. Love myself unconditionally
79. Be comfortable in shorts and tank tops. It's been a LONG time
80. Own an Italian Greyhound

Check out my 100 Dreams Project Into to get started on your own list!

I hope all of your hopes and dreams come true! Have a wonderful weekend!

Namaste




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