Half way through August and I am writing this to check in on
the goal I set for myself this month. The goal was to let everything go and
work on myself. What I have come to realize while working on this goal, is that
means so much more than I originally thought.
This is a raw honest update, because honestly I don’t know
how else to write it.
Relationships are hard. You have to work at them ALL OF THE
TIME. Today it often reminds me of how you had to keep relationships going
while playing the game The Sims. You would have to interact with all of these
people regularly or they would no longer be your friend.
I used to laugh at this but also get really annoyed. “Who
needs to really talk to someone every day to keep someone from being angry?” It
was my least favorite part of the game.
Maybe that spoke a lot about my own personal character. I
know we all have that saying about good friends being able to bounce right back
to where you were last time you met. I believe in that to a point. Do we ever
REALLY feel 100% comfortable with a person we haven’t seen in 5 years? Maybe
more comfortable than we thought we would, but life is not the same at that
point. Things have happened to both of you that did not happen together.
It’s a harsh reality to swallow sometimes. That person you
once knew so well could be like a stranger to you the next time you meet. Not
because you did something wrong, but because you did not keep in touch. Because
you did not work at that relationship as much as you through you did.
More bad news. This can also happen with someone you live
with every day. You somehow lose the communication you once had. Or maybe you
never really had the communication but now that things are going south, you see
the strain. You see the part where you are no longer connecting.
It’s scary. You feel lost and trapped, but don’t necessarily
want that relationship to end. You see that other things got in the way. Work.
Family. Friends. Somewhere along the way your relationship became less of a priority.
We didn’t work as hard as we should have. We had to come to
a place where things got scary to realize we needed help. We needed to bring
back that communication we lost somewhere along the way. We needed to make “us”
a priority again.
Today I am proud to say that R and I are on the right path
again. We are making “us” a priority again. We are pushing everything else back
to ensure we are healthy and happy first. We have vowed to make this work
because we love each other and are planning to spend the rest of our lives
together. In 38 days we say ‘I do’.
I am happy to say I am also ready to start working on all of
my relationships. Friends and family alike. It’s time we all start talking
again. It’s time to have that interaction. Thanks to The Sims for reminding me
of that. Reminding me that if I want to succeed I need a network of people to
back me up. But for them to back me up I need to interact with them on a
regular basis. I need to share with them my needs and feelings.
Thank you again for sticking with me through these rough
waters. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the light and where you
need to go. I can finally see the light again.
Here’s to the rest of August and making happy and healthy
choices!
