Today is a very special "wins" post. I am not only going to tell you my weekly wins, but a special win today as well. Might as well get right into it..

Special Wins

Last week marked my 1 year anniversary taking a chance on a new opportunity. It was an opportunity that excited me more than I could ever have imagined, and scared me on different levels. I left a cushy "corporate" job with good pay to work in non-profit. I took a leap in faith to try something new in hopes to de-stress my life. To help get myself away from the 50 hour work week.

Today I can look back on my whirlwind of a year and feel completely comfortable with the leap I took. My job is not only rewarding, but has some of the most resilient I have ever met. I get to help make a difference in my community and work with some crazy talented people.

I am so grateful. 

I am hoping to put together a post about what I have learned this year in a non-profit setting, and what you should know as a potential donor. I really can't wait to share this all with you!

Health Wins

 

I have been diagnosed with acid reflux. It doesn't sound so scary, but in reality with the stress I have been under lately with some family stuff, it completely set my gallbladder off on a rampage and I have some stomach ulcers. How is this a win you may ask? Well I am finally finding some relief with the use of some medications. I am not a big medication person, but I was in such agony, I needed to ask for help. I am on the mend and making some lifestyle changes to get myself back on a better track. 

Personal Wins

 

Me and R had a successful Friendsgiving on Saturday. We hosted 12 people and it went super smoothly. We had some great food with some great friends. Bring on Thanksgiving!

Blog Wins

 

The win here, is just posting regularly. I am also engaging more on my social media sites. I had some new followers through the week, which made me happy. Also, my annual Holiday Tea Swap is back. I would love if you joined us! Coffee is a new option this year! If you want to join and aren't into tea, we will partner you with another coffee lover! Get yourself signed up!

How was your week?

It's that time again. Talking about my wins of the week. It's such a positive way to identify good things in life rather than focusing on all the bad.

Health

• I have identified a problem with my health, so now I am working hard to get things better. Even though it was a tough week when it came to the foods I chose and the way they made me feel, I have been able to set myself on a better path to what needs to happen this week.

• I attended my 2nd yoga class in the 7 week course I signed up for. I love it more and more each time I go. My body is happier and I am starting to feel less distracted. Such a win for me.

Personal

• This week I posted some photos from my wedding. It was nice to take time out to remember how great the day way, even when things aren't going great in other areas of my life currently. Any little moment or event can pull us out of that bad place we go when we worry, and my wedding photos reminded me of that.

• I kicked ass at work this week. I kept up with everything and was able to leave my desk on Friday afternoon clean and nothing sitting to deal with on Monday. This is an ultimate win for me.

• I am working on a plan for 2017 to keep myself focused and motivated on getting my life back to a place where I am happy. I have identified what things need to change and how to do it, now I just need 2017 to get here so I can implement them!

• I FINALLY caved and bought some new pants and a few other items for the winter. The win here was I got a pair of jeans, a dress, a sweater, a cardigan, a jacket, and a belt for about $17. Gotta love thrifty shopping!

Blogging

• I blogged 4 days during the week plus today, so 5 times! This is probably the win I am most proud of. I have been more consistent lately and my stats are proving it. I am seeing more traffic and more engagement. Now I need to keep it up!

• I have decided to host my 3rd annual holiday tea swap. Last year wasn't the greatest turn out as I got the information out later than anticipated and it fell right in the middle of the holiday swing. I am going to put that announcement out this coming week, so if you love tea, come back and get signed up!

Happy Friday Y'all! I hope it was a great week and an even better weekend. I'm going to leave you with the cutest picture ever. Okay I may be biased, but how happy does this sweet girl look? Grace is one spoiled kitten!

If you're like me, you don't take much time for yourself. You throw yourself into whatever is right in front of you and you never look back. You lay in bed at night wondering where your day went and why you didn't get anything done, yet you're exhausted.

This seems to be a pretty common pattern in my house lately. I forget what it's like to find peace in my day. I forget that there is no shame is having a day for me. Finding peace in my heart and soul.

This week I took a sick day from work. I woke up feeling so worn down and exhausted, I knew it was my body telling me, it was time to slow down. It was time to find some peace in my day. I put all work aside and had a wonderful peaceful day.

I spent my morning in my brand new bed. A bed I am so grateful for. A wedding gift me and R gave ourselves from the gracious gifts from our guests (you did hear I got married right?!). I snuggled with my two cats, Rick and Grace. I fixed my cup of tea just like I do when I visit my mom. I lounged on the couch binge watching Gilmore Girls (Did anyone else squeal for joy when the new trailer came out!?). I stayed in my pajamas and didn't care about how my hair looked.

I found so much peace in doing things that were familiar to me. It made for a very nice and relaxing day. It reminded me that taking a sick day wasn't a bad thing.  It was necessary.

Are you afraid of taking sick days? What brings you peace?

Once again I am linking up with Alyssa from Alyssa Goes Bang!

Jenn over at Optimization, Actually started doing a "weekly wins" post and because one of the books I just read encouraged to start focusing on all the good every week rather than the negatives, I decided to follow suit and do the same. Wow that was one heck of a run on sentence. I apologize.

So every weekend I am going to attend to write about what really rocked my week. wish me luck..

Vacation

Me and R finally got around to taking a mini honeymoon just to clear our heads from the whirlwind that was our wedding and life all mixed in . We visited Alexandria Bay in the Thousand Islands. We got there just in time for the last day of the Boldt Castle. We were in the glorious off season where it was pretty quiet. I really recommend visiting places on off season, as you get the place to yourself. I am going to be posting more about that in another post. Stay tuned!

Health

• I am finally seeing some progress with my skin. It has cleared up quite a bit in the acne department and it' starting to get a nice glow back. I am so happy to see progress. Now I need to keep myself going with the system I have so my skin will keep glowing.

• This coming week I am jumping back on the healthier lifestyle bandwagon and getting my butt back to the gym. I really think it is a seasonal sport for me.. I can't bare to spend my time in the gym during the nice weather.

Personal

• This has been the year of reading self help books and I have to say, I have really enjoyed most of them. I never was an avid reader and when I did read it wasn't non-fiction of any sorts. I have read quite a few non-fiction this year and I have several more I want to squeeze in before the year is over.

• I am finally back to playing with my makeup. I know this sounds silly, but it's a real win for me. I spoke about this earlier in the week when I posted about my passions coming back to life.

Blog

• I spent most of the week/weekend working on a new series I am bringing to the blog this week. It is something the really gets me excited and I can't wait to get it posted.

• I cleaned up my blog post section as well as my email account and it is much tidier and easier to navigate now. Super big win!

Wedding planning was never my favorite thing. I didn't have tons and tons of pins on my pinterest boards. I just kind of winged it. So when the parts that came around that didn't require anything from me, i.e. Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party, I was in heaven.

Today I am going to recap my Bridal Shower. The shower was the first week of August, and a hot day to say the least. It was held back in my hometown in Pennsylvania in a beautiful church hall.

My friends and family put on a beautiful shower with homemade food and games. I'lllet the photos do the talking. Photo credit goes to my lovely friend Kellie!









There you have it. My cute Bridal Shower. There was great food, great laughs, and great friends. Okay there may of also been some lingerie and chocolate syrup..

Don't forget to catch my recap up to the shower here, and come back next week, same place, same time for a recap of my Bachelorette party which may or may not include a Sublime cover band and a contact high..

For those of you who are new to the page, or missed my wedding posts during the planning process, this post is for you. I am highlighting everything from my engagement up until right before my bridal shower.  This may be a little lengthy, but please bare with me! I wanted to make sure I get everything linked for your reading pleasure.

Here we go..


We were engaged on August 12, 2015 (My moms birthday!)  and quickly started looking into places to hold our wedding (I even blogged about first impressions of being engaged here). We live in the Finger Lake region of New York, AKA wine country. We knew we wanted to have a wedding that everyone would enjoy, but without breaking the bank.

We looked at a number of barns (You can see one of them here!), but none of them seemed to fit what we were looking for. We were having a small wedding, so a place fit for hundreds of people, just was not our style. I had booked marked a list of wineries in the area that hosted weddings.

A winery seemed like a great idea. We love wine. Our friends love wine. So why not. We looked at 2 places that responded to our request. R really wanted a wedding with a lake view. One of the wineries fulfilled that want, but the rest of the place was not working for us.

We decided on Knapp Winery. They had 2 dates left in the time frame we were looking for. Labor Day weekend or September 24th. We wanted Fall, so the 24th seemed like a no brainer. We booked and were set.

October came and I had an appointment with David's Bridal and a local boutique. My mom came into town and we had at it. You may remember I wrote about my experience with both here. I bought my dress a lot quicker than I anticipated, but it was love for sure.

Once the dress was bought and the venue was picked, I kind of stopped planning. We had engagement photos taken and I sent out cards to the ladies I wanted in my bridal party and everything kind of stood still til the Spring.

When March hit, I jumped into full on panic mode. So much to plan, so little time. I am a pretty thrifty person, so keeping costs down was very important to me. Our location was very pretty on it's own, so not much went into decor. I booked a photographer and a DJ and we chose our bakery. Everything was set.

We had planned to get married in front of a famous waterfall in the Ithaca area, however due to an extreme draught, there was no water. In August I changed the location of the ceremony. It was pretty risky, so close to the date, but I made it work and we had a plan.  

The first weekend of August was my bridal shower. I will be sharing that with you all next week on the 12th.

September 10th was my Bachelorette Party. That will be posted on 10/19.

You can expect the post on my wedding day on 10/26.

I can't wait to get into this mini series, sharing with you my wedding festivities.

Just a little bit of advice...

Don't get married AND have a big work fundraiser all within a 7 day span of each other!

I think after Sunday I need a vacation where I come in contact with no people at all and I really do like people.

Okay that is enough rambling. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Follow along on Instagram and Snapchat (thetrishlist)! I have been loving sharing photos lately, so you are sure to get some fun stuff from both accounts.

See ya back here next week with some wedding details, October goals, and god only knows what else!

As you may have read in yesterday’s post, August was sort of hard.  I hit a lot of road blocks that needed addressing. The good news is I was also able to have some fun throughout the month. I mean it was, “technically” the last month of summer. I couldn’t only use it to contemplate life and not have any fun.

Where do I begin? There is so much to say, but so little I am ready to share. Is that fair? Maybe I feel self-conscious, or maybe it’s a bit more than I should be sharing with strangers. I am not sure yet.

Mondays are for dreamers right? Okay, maybe not for everyone, but when you're working on your dreams, everyday seems pretty magical.


I'm FINALLY ready to share my dream that's becoming a reality. For about 2 years now I have been dreaming of starting my own business. But not just any business, a subscription box business!

I may have hinted about this in the past, but couldn't decide on a concept that worked for me. A few months ago I was sitting in my car waiting for the rain to stop when the idea came to me. It was like a light went on and everything was super clear.

I am happy to announce The Kind Step Box; a self care subscription box curated for stepmoms. Now you nay wonder why I chose that niche, but if you read my post on becoming a stepmom you will understand.

I believe self care is the best medicine for dealing with stressful situations and for anyone who is a step parent, you understand the challenges that come with being in that role.

I am in the pre-launch stage and am hoping to send out my first box this fall! Right now I am working on collecting e-mails of interested people. I invite you to sign up if you or someone you know would benefit from the box. I am working with some really amazing women to bring some pretty great items to the first box. I want this box to not only offer support for self care, but some sassy, fun items as well. Let's be honest, we all need a good laugh from time to time.

I am hoping to have a sample box put together soon so everyone can see what to expect. In the meantime it would be really amazing of you guys to sign up for my updates. I am planning to start doing weekly updates soon!

You can find updates and enter your email here: The Kind Step Subscription Box

Thank you again, and I hope you all have a wonderful week!

PS: Lets all cross our fingers that I get my wedding invites out this week.. It's on the goal list.. 

I have been wanting to write this post for a long time now. It has been one of those things that I have written over and over again and it never seems right. When I started working on a new concept and direction with this blog, I talked about starting a discussion for people who were stepmoms (or stepdads!). A place for support and advice.


When R and I started dating almost 4 years ago, I knew he had children. I had always told myself I would not date a man with children, because I did not have children of my own and was not sure I was ready for that. But life had a different plan for me. We fell in love and wanted a life together. Even with all of the struggles and heartache I have experienced through the process, I truly believe R is the man I am supposed to be with.

We moved in together last May and I was on my journey to becoming a stepmom. With a wedding coming up in September, there have been many trials and tribulations that have put lots of stress on our little family. I have had my ups and downs, but I am learning how to work through the hard times day by day. I used to allow the blame to be put on me, now I know it's not all my fault. I am apart of something that may still hurt some of the parties involved, but I am not the cause of the initial hurt if that makes sense.

Any person who has stepped into a role as a parent to a child who is not biologically theirs, knows how tough the situation can be at times. You do not only have to worry about the child(ren), but all of the other persons who are apart of the child's life. Because each situation is different, there are no real guidelines to follow, but you should know that you should never feel like it is always your fault when things go wrong. It took me a long time to realize this.

Everyone is getting used to the changes and for some, the separation of their family members is still very fresh in their minds. I would like to believe these emotions come out of their own grief and mourning of what was, and what is no longer. I want to stress that everyone involved is experiencing some form of emotion.

The road can be very challenging, yet so rewarding when you start to form a bond with your stepchildren. There are going to be times when you feel the love and times when you feel like a complete outsider. The most important thing to remember is to allow the child to move at their own pace, but remind them to be respectful in the process. It is also important that the adults around them are also respectful and positive  in this stage.

We are all human, and emotions will get in  the way sometimes, but as I have learned, staying positive and stepping away when things get heated are the best actions. It will be much easier to navigate when both parties have cooled down. This is where I have started paying attention to self care. 

Self care is so important in these situations. Life can be very stressful on a normal day, and blending  a family will have moments where the stresses can double. You could come home from a stressful work day to find children who are also stressed out, and that can be hard if you can't offer them any relief because you are "not their mom". It happens. It sometimes hurts to be pushed out.

This is when I remember it's going to be okay. I remember that I can take some time for me. It's allowed and it's essential. Self care is so important for everyone. Even taking 15 minutes a day for yourself is effective. It will make you happier. It will remind you, that even in the hard moments, you are still you. You are reminded that you still have hobbies and interests to escape to during those hard times.

Today I feel like I am in a much better place than  I was even 6 months ago. I am taking time for myself and building better relationships. I am doing my part to make sure I am being positive, yet  not allowing myself to get lost in the shuffle. I speak up when  it's necessary and step away when needed. I take responsibility for my own actions, and that is really all I can do. I can't force anyone else to act a specific way. I can't make these things happen alone.

I am looking forward to what the future holds for me. Looking forward to seeing where this journey is taking me. My journey to becoming a stepmom.

Are you a step parent? What are your experiences?

When a traumatic event strikes, we want to recoil into a safe place. Hide from the world to heal and grieve. While this seems like a good idea, hiding for to long can actually slow the grieving period and the healing can be prolonged.

If the mind is grieving, let it grieve, but also challenge yourself with positive things. Allow yourself take steps to feel better. This is not a selfish act, but a form of self care that is necessary for your mental health.

Allow yourself to smile if you want to smile. Allow yourself to laugh if you find something funny. Surround yourself with friends and family to be comforted.

It may be easier to push people away during this period, but easy never makes things better quickly. Allow the comfort and the support. It's good for the soul and can really help with moving forward.

There will be really, really hard days where you won't want to get out of bed. There will be really easy days where everything seems to go smoothly. This is normal. It's all part of the process.

Traumatic events will never leave your thoughts, but they won't consume your life if you cope with them straight away. I will always be sad about what happened to my nephew, but I also know he would not want me to live a life of sadness.

Remind yourself that you are worth it daily. Fight though the hard times and live a life you and all of your loved ones would be proud of.

You got this.

As I sit down to write this, there are tears in my eyes. Today is going to be one of the hardest days I have ever experienced. I will come together with family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to celebrate the life of my nephew who we lost suddenly on Monday. A precious little soul who was taken way to soon. He got 28 days on this earth.

28 days.

That is not enough time. He never got a chance to see the world. His family only got 28 precious days with their baby boy.

He left this earth way to soon. He also left a gaping hole in so many hearts. Mine included. I never got to meet my nephew before he left us.

That leaves me with so many emotions. Some of which could of been avoided if things were different.

I am angry.

I am upset.

I am worried.

I have guilt. 

I feel regret.

I am angry with the spirits for needing this little boy so soon. Why do that to a parent? Why change a life so drastically that it makes it nearly impossible to be the same person again?

I have always been skeptical in finding a faith and believing in God, and today as I sit here dreading what has to be, I am no more closer to finding that peace.

Why must the first time I meet my nephew, be at a time where time has run out and I will never get that chance to hold him in my arms? I will never get the chance to see him smile or let him know how much I love him.

Life is so cruel sometimes. We forget day to day that life is precious and no one is promised a tomorrow. We spend so much time hiding from our problems and insecurities that relationships become strained.

I have so much regret today. If things could of been different, maybe I would have met my nephew. Maybe there wouldn't be an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe I would walk into this differently.

It is never a good feeling to lose a loved one. Absolutely fucking heart wrenching to lost a 28 day old innocent baby.

May he rest peacefully and watch over all of us and remind us to make better choices. He may have only been here for a very short time, but he has taught me so much this past week.

Please keep my family in your prayers as we all try to move forward. It has changed me so much already, I can't even imagine how much it will change his parents.

I need strength today.

It's Friday and I thought it would be fun to update you guys on Rick and Grace. They have both been bugging me for their interviews and thoughts they'd like put into this post. Silly kitties.

I've been meaning to do this update on the 2 munchkins for awhile now. The last I spoke of them Grace was still making the transition to not being the only cat anymore and Rick was finally fighting back when she harassed him.


The good news is that these two have become good buddies. They spend their mornings and evenings chasing eachother through the house. They have both claimed favorite sleeping spaces for the day and surprisingly they weren't the same spot.

Grace is 10 months old.  Rick is 13 months old. They grow so fast!

Grace has become the influencer (she must take after me) as Rick is more laid back and only seems to get in trouble when caught with one of Grace's bad habits.

Grace being a car model

Grace enjoys spending her days meowing at all of the lights that glare on the walls, curling up in her yoga mat (yes she has her own!) and rearranging the litter box sand every chance she gets. She can be stand offish at times and is known to nip at you when she's done being shown attention.

Rick on Grace's yoga mat

Rick is pretty laid back. He enjoys turning just about anything into a toy. They get bonus points if he can carry them in his mouth. Some favorites include balled up paper, toilet paper rolls, and Lego people. He loves being around people and snuggling. You will often find him curled up on a box or chasing around a toy.

I love these 2 munchkins to death and are so glad to have them in my life. They make everyday an adventure. Thank you for taking the time to stop and read up on my babies.

They thank you too. Happy Friday!

Sometimes I think I should be a youtuber who drives around in my car and talks to you all. We'd have amazing conversations about life, important topics, and of course some powerful car karaoke sessions. Then I remember I don't like to be on camera and I probably wouldn't sound as good as I think I sound when I'm driving around talking to myself.

It was a great thought, but honestly I have some of the best thoughts and ideas when I'm driving. I talk out loud and sometimes record what I want to say here. Problem is, is sometimes saying it out loud and then writing it down don't sound the same to me. I know, I'm weird.

Although being the youtuber would have been in my favor this week when it came to blogging because 1. I would have gotten more posted this week. 2. No photos to take. And 3. I think there would of been some great content out there. (Maybe ;)

For real through I'm glad it's Friday. I had some much planned this week for posts, but didn't get the time in to finish them. Posts were written, just no photos to go with them.

Life kind of fell in my lap this week and suddenly my original to-do list changed from blog stuff to wedding stuff that needed my attention immediately.

I am hoping for a nice sunny weekend where I can get those photos taken on top of the rest of my original to-do list.

But for real.. should I do a random YouTube video here once in awhile?

Stop back on Sunday to see my Sunday Snap. More updates on what's coming next week and a little peak into the tea party I attended last Sunday. Happy weekend!

For most of my life I was one of those people who kept to myself. I never argued differences in opinion or spoke up when I didn't agree with something. As I am getting older I am finding myself speaking up more and more.

It feels nice to have a voice. It also scares me sometimes to see the reactions of those people that I used to always agree with. They don't know how to handle me having my own thoughts. They tend to want to fight with me because I don't always see the world as they do.

In reality I NEVER did see the world as they did, just never wanted conflict. Now I see that these same couple of people will belittle me if they don't agree with me and try and make me feel like my opinion can't matter.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I am angry some days at myself for allowing this behavior. Why did I allow myself to be degraded for someone else?

As part of my plan to love myself and find my own happiness, this is just one aspect of some of the changes I'm making. I'm no longer allowing someone else to make me feel less then them in effort to feed their own ego.

How do you deal with this type of person? Are you like I was and avoid conflict or do you stand up for your beliefs and put them in their place?

Reminder, once I receive 10 comments on Monday's post, I will choose someone to win a giftcard!

The Trish List Fact # 5: I have had 4 different blog layouts/themes in 2 years.

I've been feeling a little MIA lately. I have been working a lot on this blog behind the scenes this month, gearing up for my 2 year blogaversary in May. Of course that has taken me away from actually posting regularly here.

I know I set warning that this space would be a pretty hot mess this month, but I thought more would be posted. Because I failed to send more test content out than I had originally intended, I wanted to run a few ideas past you all.

First and foremost I want this blog to be a positive place. I also don't want to portray that I live in a perfect world either. I want to stay away from rants if I can, but there will be days where maybe this will be the good, the bad, and the ugly.

So my first idea that I am implementing next month is my Random Acts of Kindness tab. Each month I am going to pick 1 of my readers to send a little thank you to. There won't be a specific gift, just something to say thanks. I want to leave a space where anyone can write about what they are doing to put a smile on someone's face.

The second topic I will be addressing is being a stepmom. In September I will marry R and officially be a stepmom to his 2 boys. R and I have been together for about 3 years and living together for 1.

 I am going to write a monthly post where I will encourage others to link up and share their stories. These should be positive posts that encourage and support other stepmoms out there.

The last new addition to the blog will be weekly posts of pursuing what happiness means to each of us and how to get there. I strive every day to think of one positive thing, even when my day seems bad.

Just a couple of new things coming, but I feel like they can make a big impact. Don't forget I am also offering a poll this month with a prize for anyone who takes it! You can find it here.

Happy Tuesday.

Don't mind the random rambles this week. I have a lot to get out. What better place to share but with a few if my closest friends on the internet. #sorry not sorry.

Anywho, I think I've figured out the way to happiness. Yep I did it. Want to know what that secret is?

Let it go.

Yep it's true. Those books and therapists aren't kidding you when they tell you to do this. What they don't explain to you is that you need to be ready on your own terms to do it. You need to find your own journey to pursue.

I know I have mentioned this a lot lately, but since I started up a yoga practice again, I've been able to work through some of my issues in a way that soothes me and calms my mind.

I've started doing little things to help me stay balanced and on track. My temper has gradually cooled down and I don't feel set off as easily.

I'm compiling a list of what is working for me and hoping to share it with all of you soon. I hope you will find it helpful.

What do you do to keep yourself balanced? Have you been able to let it go?