Showing posts with label Postpartum. Show all posts

The Postpartum Diaries: 16 Weeks



I started writing the intro to this post a few weeks ago. It was starting to feel boring to me, as I had nothing really great to say that everyone else hasn't already said. I even debated writing this post. Then this happened. I wrote a post about body image postpartum... sort of. I had a really bad day and really fought with myself about my image and how I was feeling. It was rough. I shed a lot of tears and got a lot of great support.

But as always, with support there will always be criticism. You will always have someone who will either misunderstand you or just really want to fight with you. I get it. It happens. It is SO hard to put myself out there on the internet on a regular day, but I do it because I love sharing stories with all of you. It was SUPER hard to talk about my weight postpartum.

I want to be clear. I feel bad about my weight because I don't feel good. Like literally feel sick in my body. My body aches because of the weight. This isn't a "oh my, I am ugly now because I can't wear super tiny clothes in the middle of summer and show off my assets" kid of feeling. Also..no where did I ever post that my weight and image was more important than my child.

Yes. Someone actually attacked me for caring more about my weight then my child. *crickets chirping*

When did I say that? 

And to be honest. The ones who attacked me the most were the people I know outside of blog land. They are people who I know personally. Family members. Friends. Acquaintances. People I know who have gone through this themselves.

Why must we be so ugly to one another, even when we know how it feels?

But honestly, that's all another post for another time. Today is about an update on everything else going on, not just the weight or the pity party I threw myself.

Here's what's going on since my last postpartum update. It has been 10 weeks. Little Bloob is 16 weeks old today. Where in the world has time gone? Little man is doing great. Chattering away and rolling over. He got his big boy seat, AKA the high chair. He enjoys sitting in it watching us cook meals throughout the day. He has also starting teething, so that has been fun.

The last time I updated I was having some trouble with breastfeeding. The good news is, it got better, just like everyone said it would. I still don't produce enough for him to eat full time breast milk, but he is getting it. That is all that matters to me. He is healthy and thriving and that is most important.

I have returned back to work full-time. It's been 8 weeks already. For those of you who don't know I work from home. I am not my own boss, so I actually have a 9-5 schedule to keep. Many people think it's the best thing ever to work from home when you have a baby. Spoiler alert. It's not.

I didn't have to deal with daycare of separation anxiety, but I do have the stress of taking care of my infant while trying to get my job done. More info coming on that next week. Stay tuned.

We all know I struggled with weight gain over the past 10 weeks, so we won't get back into that. I will say I have really taken a look at my diet and have been making better choices for about a full month now. I am measuring out my portions and it really makes the difference on how I see food.

I'm learning a lot about nutrition and how to safely change my lifestyle while still providing nourishment for my son. I have watched my milk supply soar and I have watched it come to a screeching halt. My whole body is counting on the food I put in my body. I am slowly learning to accept that.

At 16 weeks I am starting to get a real handle on being a new mom. I know my kids signals and little quirks. I know when he's hungry or when he just wants to snuggle. I know that he doesn't like to eat when he's working on a poop. I get it little dude. I don't either.

I have come a long way in the last 16 weeks. I have learned so much about myself and about little human beings. I have learned to have patience and when to put everything down, including the baby and walk away for a few minutes to catch my sanity.

I am a new person everyday when I wake up. I never know what challenges will be thrown at me in this new world of parenthood.

So tell me.. How am I doing? How did your first few months of parenthood go? I'd love to hear your stories!





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