Thursday, December 31, 2015

The best birthday gift

So today is the day. The end of another year. Another birthday. I also am sitting here reflecting on the fact that so much has changed for me in the last 8 weeks. A whole entire year and 8 short weeks of it made the difference for me. It goes to show that any amount of time can change the way a person lives their life.



There are 2 things that have happened in those 8 weeks that have really made the difference. They will send me into 2016 as a 33 year old with a new vision. Those 2 things are finding a new job and meeting my new therapist.

I  have made it no secret that I have been burnt out and unhappy this year. You saw that in my writing. You saw that in my inconsistency. I was in desperate need of a change. I was in desperate need of a new point of view.

Making the decision to change jobs was not an easy one, no matter how unhappy I was. It was familiar and I was comfortable there. We must remind ourselves that just because we are comfortable, doesn't mean we can use it to justify our unhappiness. The opportunity came up quickly and I knew in my heart I needed the change. Before I knew what I was really doing I accepted the job and sat on it for a few days.

Putting in my notice was really hard. In those days leading up to my decision I saw things in the people around me that made me remember why I once did love that place. I saw the kindness in the coworkers that became my friends. The friends who became my family. I was shown such respect and kindness in my last days. I almost felt guilty for leaving.

I stood my ground and left with my head high. I knew it was time for something new. A new chapter in my life. It was my last day at my old job that I got the call about my new therapist. I had been waiting 2 months for a replacement due to my therapist moving out of the practice.

I started my new job on a Monday and met my new therapist the next day on Tuesday. They have both opened my eyes to new ideas. They have both shown me that I have been unhappy for way to long.

I am happy to say, that today, on my birthday, I am finally ready to move past all of the sadness and pain I have held onto this year. I am ready to take on 2016 as the strong person I know I am. That is the best birthday gift I could ever give myself. Letting it all go. Setting myself free. Setting up myself for great things to come.

It also makes me a little less bitter that I have to share my birthday with the entire world ;)

Happy New Year!






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Monday, December 28, 2015

Year End Honesty

As R and I drove back from my parents house on Christmas night, I was lost in thought about how this year didn't go as planned. At first I was sad and a bit upset about this, but then I started thinking. Was it really as bad as I thought it was, or was this the normal thought for this time of year?  Christmas always seems like the time of year when we all focus on all of the things we don't have. The year is ending and we focus on what we didn't accomplish.  Why do we do that?

I started thinking back to all of the things I wanted to accomplish in 2015. I started thinking about this blog and what I posted here. It started out as a place to write down my thoughts on products and ended up turning into a diary of sorts. Even when I talked about something specific, I still tied it into my everyday life. You can't really write about something you didn't experience right?

I looked at past posts and realized how often I gave excuses for things I didn't do, or places I complained for not good reason. Was I really that miserable this year? Had I allowed myself to get so far into the negative that I forgot about the good things?

I thought about the things I didn't post about. How I reconnected with a friend from my past, only to have it cut short by his untimely death. It makes me wonder why these things happen as they do. Then there was the uphill battle of depression. I fought the feelings so much this year, only to finally give in and realize I needed to do something about it. I lost my relationship with my brother. We have not really had a conversation in 6 months. I dealt with getting engaged and not having the support from people we hoped would be there for us.

The lessons I learned this year can be looked at as struggles, but looking at them now, I understand they have shaped me into something I thought was long gone. I still have fight in me. I can still stand tall and find strength in the hard times. R always told me he fell in love with me because of how strong I was. He admired my will to fight even when everyone tried to prove me wrong.

That alone makes me want to do better. Be better. Move forward and think about the positive.

I know who I am. If you don't, maybe it's time you get to know me.

Even with all my struggles, I am still ending this year with things I am proud to say I accomplished.

I found a new job that I absolutely love to go to everyday. I thought that was an impossible goal. It does exist if you are willing to take a risk.

I have friends and family who are willing to stand behind me no matter what the circumstance.

R and I are still in love and ready to take the next step into marriage in 2016. We have been through hell and back, but we are still here and are excited more than ever to start our lives together.

As far as this space goes, I got myself on and off track what feels like a million times this year, but I am not going to look at that as a failure. I am going to see it as testing the waters. Taking risks. 2016 is going to be an open canvas and I can't wait to see what I create..

Thank you to all of you who have stood by my side this year. It was not only me going through this roller coaster, but you all were along for the ride. Whether we have met before or not, I hope to spend more time with you in the upcoming year. I hope to get to know you all even better. And most importantly I hope we all can continue to help one another grow and prosper in whatever it is we want to accomplish.

If I don't see you again before then, have a happy and safe rest of 2015. Don't sweat the big things and focus on the little things you can change to make the big things happen!

MUAH!



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Monday, December 14, 2015

2015 Yearly Wrap - Part 1

It's that time again. We are running out of days in this calendar year. We are all scrambling to achieve all of our goals and then somewhere in the middle of December we all say screw it, and focus on Christmas. Today I want to start recapping my year. It has been a real roller coaster, but I think by documenting it properly, I can see where I went wrong. What I can do to change it. And what was the best parts. I am going to do this in 3 increments. So that means 4 months each week for 3 weeks. Lets see how January - April went...

January 

 

I started my year in Nashville. It was a birthday present from R (Remember my birthday is New Years Eve). I had a magical time but I wish the weather would of been nicer! It was colder in Music City than it was in Times Square folks! While on this trip I also got to visit Louisville, Kentucky where I have family. It was amazing to see cousins I haven't seen in years and to meet my 2nd cousins. My uncle was a fabulous host. Such a great start to the year.

I also decided to start a happiness project. My first goal for the project was R & R (Re-focus and Relax)



While on the runway getting ready to head home to New York I signed up for a 6 week Stress Relief Yoga class. That was probably one of the best ideas I made all year. It started my journey to dealing with stress in a better way. It also inspired me to write some yoga newbie tips..



One of my most viewed of the year was written in January. How to order eyeglasses online. I loved this post because I spend a good portion of my adult life working in the optical business. It went on to be featured later in an online publication for women! I was an optician and sometimes miss working with people to find the perfect look for them!

February

 

February was a pretty chill month for me. My happiness project goal was Fitness and Friendship. I did really well this month, meeting a new friend who has become a close friend.

I wrote a fun post on creating your own spa experience at home with Bath Teas. It snowed a lot. Winter was pretty over the top this year. I don't recall many times when there wasn't some form of snow happening. 

Me and R attended a Valentines brunch at a friends house where she make homemade heart pop tarts! They were so good!


I attempted an e-book reading challenge that failed miserably. Maybe I will try again this year. See what happens.

I ended the month with a yoga-thon! It was a lot of fun on top of challenging. 

March

 

March brought on another round of The Blog Staycation. I absolutely love the resources and community this event brings to the table of blogging. Look for information soon for the winter 2016 Staycation!

My March Happiness Project goal was organization!

I attended a Pi day party at a local brewery. We brought pies, they supplied the beer. It's a win/win!


I started a 10 minute fitness challenge on my blog that kind of died out quickly. I need to get back into that in 2016. I always enjoyed it!


April

 

I started gearing up for my move. My lease to my apartment officially ended on April 30th. I was moving in with R and was quickly trying to get some organization into effect. My happiness project goal was organization part 2. I didn't get as much done in March as I had hoped to this goal got extended and accomplished!

I wrote a lot about wellness in April. This was more to help me achieve all those goals I set for myself, and maybe help someone else. I wrote about many topics including exercise, water, and not feeling well due to stress

I attended my first ever fancy tea party and cut my hair! I attended a lot of local events which really made me want to blog more about my city. I did some and then fell uninspired once again. Another goal to get back into in 2016.


I hosted my final party in my apartment. It was so bitter sweet. I loved that little house!


So there you have it! My first third of my year! Stop back next Monday to see part 2!


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Friday, December 11, 2015

Friday Moments

You know that morning where you're quickly running out of time and your computer decides to do every update humanly possible to slow you down? Yeah that's this morning. I am going to truck through it though and give you the top five moments/things of my week. I feel like it was a pretty fulfilling week and I am excited to share with you.

R's (AKA my old job) Christmas Party

I left my job in November, but not before putting the finishing touches on the Christmas party. You see I was on the activities committee at work, so I got to do fun stuff like that. It was a lot of fun to visit with my old co-workers on Saturday and see the vision we had come to life. It was a good night.


Finished a book... Finally!

I finally finished Landry Park. In case you didn't already know. I am a YA fanatic. I have been severely lacking in reading this year, so 1 full book read is a pretty big accomplishment to me. I really enjoyed the book and am looking forward to the second/final book, Jubilee Manor.

My Wednesday Night..

I attended/worked a fun little party! Let's just say it was pretty amazing because puppies and kittens :)


Planning for 2016

I ordered a Spark Planner from a Kickstarter a few weeks ago. It is going to be such a great tool for 2016. It is going to help me get back on track and remember to dream. I am also starting to look into travel in the new year. It used to be such a passion and I have lost that lately. I have some really awesome ideas and I can't wait to share them all with you!

Festive Gatherings

I have had many gatherings this week and I am ending my work week with another one. Meeting up with some old coworkers this evening for some cocktails and appetizers. Really looking forward to it! I will go into the weekend ready to get our tree and finish decorating before going to another party. I am really loving this month so far!

Happy Friday!


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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

And I rambled on..

If you're reading this, it means I managed to get myself up out of bed and hit publish before I headed off to work. While I am typing this I am also entering as many 12 days of Christmas contests as I can and day dreaming about my new planner that isn't scheduled to arrive until January. Boo. It's going to be a long day.



I didn't have any real ideas on what to post about today, so I am winging it. I have always been really good at winging things, so lets see where this goes. Today is already December 9th. We have
two and a half weeks until Christmas and three weeks until we go into 2016.

I am looking forward to 2016. I know a new year doesn't necessarily mean everything will magically change and the world will get better, but there is hope. 2015 had a lot of good things for me. I got engaged and I found a new job that I love. It also brought me a lot of challenges and tried my patience way past the limits I am used to. I know this is a part of growing as a person, but it also makes life very difficult at times.

No, I am not going to cry you a river over that.

The point is, is that no matter how you look at the changing of the year, it gives us a reason to want to change, or fix the things we aren't happy with. It gives us a chance to "leave the past, in the past" so to speak. As humans we are creatures of habit. We can get so stuck in our ways, even if they are toxic that it is easy to keep digging a rut. For me, if I look at the new year as a fresh start, I can slowly remove myself from that rut and move forward.

Anyone else think like that?

I am already wrapping up the year in my thoughts. Thinking about all the stuff that happened in 2015 and what I want to accomplish in 2016. As I said in my goals post, I am using December as a month to have fun and enjoy myself. That is part of the reason why I am rushing to write this before I go to work today. It is helping me let loose a little and remember my original goals in life. To remember my dreams.

I am slowly getting back to that "go getter" attitude I had when I got out of college. I am remembering all of the things I wanted to accomplish and are applying them to the life I am living today. I am excited to see what 2016 has to hold, and how much more fun I can get myself into before the year ends.

Lots of holiday parties and get togethers coming up in the next few weeks. I attended my old jobs Christmas party this past weekend. I am attending one for my new job tonight. Another get together is happening Friday and then again on Saturday. I decided to host a holiday gathering myself on Wednesday of next week. I think I am fulfilling my goals just fine!

I am sorry if this is a rambling post. It is what I had at 7am! I hope you all have a great day and I will see you all back here on Friday!

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Monday, December 7, 2015

Happiness is..

Let's stop living on the negatives and start living on the positives. Today I wanted to catch those small moments over the weekend that really made the difference. They weren't huge extravagent things. They just made me happy.



Happiness is that moment on Friday afternoon when I realized I had a good week and it was time to go home to my family.

Happiness is a Saturday morning yoga class to clear my mind.

Happiness is discovering a wellness gift fair just blocks from my home.

Happiness is warm apple cider and good company.

Happiness is reuniting with co-workers for a night of cocktails, music, and laughs.

Happiness is snuggling up on a cold night with R, talking about our day. 

Happiness is finishing a book that took a little longer than anticipated.

Happiness is a Sunday visit with the future in-laws and feeling comfortable.

Happiness is a quiet Sunday evening to collect my thoughts.

Happiness is getting my Christmas cards done early.


How was your weekend?


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Friday, December 4, 2015

Never feel guily for having fun

Today I wanted to take a minute to catch up with you all. I have once again been a little MIA. This doesn't mean I do not care about this space, nor does it mean I do not care about all of you. If you read my goals for December you would have seen that I am using this month to let loose and have fun. I think this year has been a very hard a stressful one for me. I rarely let myself just relax and enjoy the little things around me.

I am trying to get back to a place where I can feel like me again (More about that soon. I promise). The me that enjoys travel, and playing with my makeup. The me that gets excited over entering sweepstakes and gets that child on Christmas morning feeling every day when I check my mail. The me who loves to laugh with my friends, no matter what the situation is.

I want to be the best person I can be, and right now the way I am doing that is by disconnecting a little more and spending more time on things that I enjoy. I have been writing a lot. I have been coloring in my adult coloring book. I have been entering more sweepstakes (There are SO many 12 days of Christmas giveaways going on right now FYI). I have been spending time with friends.

It has been a really great experience for me and it is allowing me to deal with some of the issues that have put me into this hole. I am able to wake up feeling more cheerful and less drained. I am hoping to be able to continue that feeling through the month and into the new year.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Do lots of fun things and don't feel guilty for it!

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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Operation Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

Blogging can be challenging at times, but so can life. This is why I try to set some healthy goals each month to keep me on track. We are in December now and I can honestly say that by setting these goals along with linking them into my happiness project I feel like I have made a difference this year. I am not going to 100% evaluate all of that yet as we have not finished out the year, but I am going to pat myself on the back for making it to December and not quitting half way through.



Now let's see what I accomplished in November.

Personal Goals

Budgeting: I always feel like I do a good job in this area. I have been very mindful to what I am spending and where I am spending. I was able to take care of most of my Christmas shopping during the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals. I didn't spend a fortune and feel like I got a nice assortment of gifts.
Wellness: I am halfway through my 6 week yoga class and I am really happy I made that decision. It is a great way to let off some stress and I have learned to love this new studio. I am also eating better. I didn't overdue it at Thanksgiving and am drinking more water. I even made it back into the gym a few times. Baby steps.
Reading: I finished 1 of the 2 books I took out from the library. The second one is due back this weekend and I just didn't get as much done as I had hoped. I am working on finding more time to sit down and read. So a 50 % on this goal.
Grateful: I am back to writing in my journal. This has been extremely helpful for remembering to notice the small things. Appreciate the small things. I am reminding myself daily why I am lucky to be here and happy. So far it is really helping. Something I need to continue on indefinitely.

Blogging Goals

I feel like I have come to this space more often in November in a more motivated state. I had ideas and I wrote about them. It is always going to be a work in progress but I feel like things are slowly changing in my life and that will reflect here. All I can say to that one is continue to bare with me!

December Goals

I have one goal this month. That goal is going to be something I needed to set for myself a long time ago and actually follow.

Eat. Drink. And be Merry!

Yes, that is going to be my goal for the month. I am going to spend as much time laughing with friends and family, enjoying festive cocktails, sampling yummy treats, and participating in all the fun events that I can. I need this. We all need this. Let loose and enjoy the reason for the season folks!


What are you going to accomplish this month?


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Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Awesome Things: December Edition

Why hello there December. So nice to see you. SO glad you are keeping your cool temps at bay.. remind Winter to do the same once she gets here as well. (Knocking on all the wood in the house now. No way am I going to jinx the warmer temps we have been getting up here in central New York!) Anywho, today I am excited to be co-hosting The Awesome Link up with Anne over at Love the Here and Now!

So let's see what's currently cooking in the awesome pot..

December Birthday


The holidays are in full swing and I get to end the year with not only a party into the new year but with another birthday. I am a new years eve baby so there is normally not a problem finding a party, but it is hard to find people to celebrate the birthday side of that day. One thing I do look forward to is lunch with my mom. It is a new tradition since I moved out of state. She takes me to lunch when I can come visit and we order the works. Appetizers, festive drinks, yummy entrees and of course dessert!

The place we do lunch every year for my birthday! Always decked out beautifully!

Journalling


I have recently gotten into writing in a journal. I am debating starting a second one. The reason for this is the one I have been focusing on is a personal one about how I am working on me. It gives me daily quotes to help remind me that I am doing okay. I have enjoyed exploring my thoughts on a personal level but am not wanting to expand into other things. I think keeping those things separate would work best for me. 

Adult Coloring Books


My creative side has really shown lately with the writing and now the coloring. Having a book to color in is not only relaxing but gets me excited to get off my computer. I feel like all I have done over the past year is waste a lot of time surfing the internet for no real reason. Being able to disconnect and do something else is really making the difference. 

Swaps!

I keep missing all of the fun swaps out there, but I think I will be on the list for all kinds in 2016. Speaking of swaps, have you joined my Holiday Tea Swap?! Nothing like sampling some new teas for the winter season. 


Black Friday/Cyber Monday

I'm not gonna lie, I did a little shopping this year. I am a sucker for a good deal, and man did I hit the jackpot this year! Not only did a get some great Christmas gifts for my family at the outlets, I also was able to find myself a deal on upgrading my cell phone (FINALLY!) without having to pay that ridiculous monthly fee all the phone companies are charging there days. I call that a super win!

Dream

Another outcome of Cyber Monday.. I was able to snag an amazing deal at Dream Midtown in NYC. It has been my "dream" to stay there forever! I have a kanji tattoo on my foot that says "Dream". It is there to remind me to never give up. When I found out there was a hotel with that name I wanted to go, but alas it was way out of my price range. Now me and R will be staying there for our anniversary in March!


So much awesome happening! I hope you all have some awesome to share with us! Link up below!
  The Awesome Link Up with The Trish List www.lovethehereandnow.com




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